In 2017, passing a mental health law in the Philippines (known as RA. 11036 today) was the talk of the town for the following reasons:
- It took us a very long time to have one.
- Mental health was a taboo topic.
- Mental health professionals were finally at the forefront of policymaking.
At that time, I was a naïve second-year Psychology college student. While my heart was racing to be part of the conversation, I didn’t know what to say. So I did what I could: Listen to others.
A brief history of the “free sessions”
Most of the time, people are surprised when I don’t chime in to share or talk over them about their personal problems. It wasn’t because I had nothing to say, but a lot could be said in silence and a gentle understanding of how they felt.
In return, I learned how to cultivate a healing space for mothers, grandfathers, young adults, and children to open up and feel at ease to explore their emotions with me.
By the time I was a senior in college, I was head of a student organization under the Guidance Office. We organized activities that emphasized creating safe spaces: support group meetings, other times, we just hung out together and played games.
The year ended with a community focused on mental health awareness on campus.
Then the pandemic hit, and you know how devastating that was for everyone. I discovered that listening had become more than a mode of support but also a need.
Having someone not judge, shame, or be reactive toward you – being compassionate in hearing your issues – is crucial in improving our well-being.
That’s why I felt a huge call to bring back my listening sessions, which launched The Wounded Healer in October 2021. The title is a simple confession: I have mental health issues, too, having wounds that scar deep, but it doesn’t limit my healing purpose.
The online advocacy functions as a way to connect with a bigger audience for my speakership engagements, but most importantly, to promote the “Online Kamustahan” - a project that allows individuals to sign up for an hour of free listening sessions with me, usually done after working hours.
Here are the important things that I learned from listening to more than 30 individual lives in 2022.
Our first step to healing is feeling safe
I remember the first person who signed up for Online Kamustahan – he was in his 50s, a father, and a life coach. To break the ice, I asked why he registered and met with me. He said curiosity led him here, mentioning how he dreams of studying courses in Psychology.
It sounded like we were bonding over our shared interest in mental health, but his cheerful tone changed when I asked how I could help him. He bravely mentioned his depression, which kept him away from his family members.
As each second passed, he felt braver to talk about how it impacted his ability to work and connect.
When we feel someone is actively listening to us, what we say matters. Feeling like we matter also comes from people taking their time to get to know us. The art of knowing a person lies in genuine care. Naturally, a safe space was created between him and me.
At the end of the session, he sounded lighter, motivated, and inspired – a clear indication that it was a healing time.
Your loving presence is enough
Online Kamustahan started to gain momentum on July 2022 – all kinds of people from around the Philippines were signing up. I met with students, young adults, and people with depression, anxiety, and other mental conditions.
Sometimes, they’re amazed at how I could do this work.
How come a wounded person like me can have a healing effect on others?
There’s no secret ingredient, really.
I’m no magician either.
I found that setting my intention – helping others by listening – directs my thoughts, feelings, and actions. I gained listening skills because I realized how effectively it makes another feel understood and cared for.
What I feel on the inside is what naturally radiates around me. If that is love, love will come through. If that is comfort, comfort translates into my words, touch, etc.
Question of the Day: How can I listen more?
I’m leaving you with a prompt today, Hivers! You are part of the mental health advocacy now. Your wellness matters too, so take the comment section as a chance to be vulnerable and connect.
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Thank you for reading my post!
I hope you have a healing day ahead 💜