1: A thai woman runs into a wall, what does he break?
Her boner.
2: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
spino-sore-ass
3: I have this nightmare all the time where I'm on a dark country road. There's this big man with a knife, and I'm chasing him. Scary, 'cause I know when I catch him, he's gonna kill me.
4: I refuse to go to the bathroom on an airplane because if I'm gonna die in a cartwheeling ball of flames, it is not gonna be in a flying outhouse with my pants around my ankles.
5: If at first you don't succeed, sky diving isn't for you.