Hey guys! Do you ever have those nights when you just can't sleep? Sometimes when you have something on your mind and some nights just for no apparent reason at all!

I haven't had a night like this in a very long time, normally I sleep fine. However, tonight it just seems every time I try to sleep my heart starts racing faster and faster. Every minor sound frightens the shit out of me. I can hear my heart beat in my ears if I lie on my side. When I fall asleep I keep thinking, like on autopilot but I'm not dreaming, just thinking.

After just over an hour of trying to fall asleep I give up, which is why I'm on here now! Sadly, I have to wake up in just under 6 hours :(

EDIT: I decided to buy some upvotes for this post, so I feel I should write some more!!

What's stressing me out

I'm currently studying for my exams! I have a lot of pressure on me to do well this exam season as I've been underperforming throughout the semester in most of my subjects, so I really need to ace these exams to have a good score this semester. This is likely a contributor to my insomnia tonight, as it's really been quite stressful, especially because I have done pretty much 0 work today due to some family issues.

Which brings me to my next point... my family has been far from functional since I was born and remains so to this day. Sometimes I wish I wasn't here but I always tell myself I was put here for a reason, to help these people but sometimes it gets quite overwhelming. However, I wrote somewhere else that these hard days just make the good times that much sweeter, and this is what keeps me going most days.

A recent dream I had

Last week I dreamt I died. I remember I was driving a car amidst a storm with heavy rain and strong winds. There was a helicopter that was flying weirdly due to the storm and in my mind before it started falling, I knew it was going to fall.

Soon, I could see the helicopter start spinning around as it descended. I soon realised i was on a collision course with the rapidly descending helicopter, so I screamed to the driver to turn. The driver didn't listen and we smashed into the helicopter. This part was probably the strangest part, I didn't wake up. I remember the collision, I didn't feel pain but I saw a bright light (cliche, I know), and my ears were ringing from the loud sound. Before I knew it, I was in a white room, like not a room, more like a boundless space.

Then I woke up.

Something I just realised about my dream is that I WAS THE DRIVER. I remember yelling at the driver to turn, yet I also remember being the driver... spooooky