In my opinion as someone who waited and did not try to do what I wanted to do until I was almost 50 years old. You are feeling this was and it will probably not ever go way completely until you begin to do what makes you happy . Search your passion. It may be that one of those hobbies are what you should be doing. See if you can figure out a way to make money with them or something your passionate and excited about. I believe I would have been able to find my way sooner if I had let myself go in the direction I wanted to when I was younger. Now is the time to make the jump don't wait the next 30 years like I did. I am so glad I finally followed my heart and became a full time artist 3 plus years ago. It took me a couple of years to make the transition. I started working less and less at my day job until I was being partly supported by my art and eventually left all together when I felt I could make it as an artist. At times it can be hard but I love what I'm doing and I'm free. Don't worry about venting, I'm glad you did it gave me the opportunity to share with you and maybe that will save you many years of not living the life you want. I wish someone encouraged me to find and follow my dream a long time ago. I was pressured my my family and society in general to just stick with a fulltime job working for someone else. I say find something you love to do and do that and when and if you don't love it start search for something else you think you would love. You are young and you will have many opportunties. Best wishes .