You are not a lunatic Kitty. You are a very strong person to survive all that you went through! You said people don't have to pity you (in other words) but it's all 'just' a lack of love, which you should have had from you're parents. That you have a hard time loving or beloved is all caused by that, i'm sure! But you are a nicer person than you give yourself credit for; you always want to help and you and me never had a 'virtual fight', only one misunderstanding, while we both where abused as a child!