Its no secret that, more than anything else, the people around us will determine how happy, healthy and successful we feel. How much we enjoy life is to a very large degree, a direct result of the way we are enjoying the people in our lives.
The people who feel attracted to us, do so because of the way we treat and interact with them. The way we behave is mostly automatic, a lifetime of habits and conditioning tends to make us fairly predictable. Even when we are unpredictable, it is usually in predictable ways, like certain kinds of humour tend to repeat the theme if not the exact jokes.
So what do all these wonderful people want from us?
They want the same thing we want, they want to be appreciated and accepted for who they are, they want to feel safe and supported. They want to have experiences that allow them to build trust.
This allows them to relax, it allows them to step down their defences, to be creative and playful again.
So their body can produce dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, all the good stuff.
It also allows them to come out of fear state, to release anti-inflammatories and let their immunes systems operate at full capacity again. To go into growth and repair mode, basically to let the body shift resources to where they are needed, and remove toxins from where they are not.
So what's with all the biology talk?
We know we can't fight nature, yet we spend most of our energy doing exactly that.
Health lies in the exact opposite direction of what most of us are doing as individuals and even more so collectively.
Its ok, getting up-set about the way things have been, is also fighting nature.
There is entirely more than adequate fighting going on, we don't need to add to resistance and struggle.
The very definition of grace, would be the effective application of minimal force.
There is a great difference between influencing with sensitivity and skill as opposed to controlling with might and power.
The first step in healing relationships is to stop fighting and simply take it all in.
It all begins with allowing sensitivity..sound scary?
It is..