“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another. The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience. If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.” ― Deepak Chopra
Life is not a single lane road heading in an indefinitely straight line. No, it is filled with twists, turns, forks and crossroads – all of which require decision making from us upon reaching them.
Sometimes that decision making is plain as day, and not difficult at all, but mostly, it is precisely the opposite… which then turns the decision making process into a challenge – a challenge of self.
Our actions, decisions and choices are seldom “black and white” – not even to ourselves. They are as intricate as a spider’s web - each one offering a slightly different outcome or result - Each one altering the course of our lives in some way, shape or form from that point forward.
Those around you may not always understand the choices you make, but the reality is – it is not for them to understand… in fact, sometimes it is not even for you to understand, until much further down the line.
Certain things in life don’t happen in one fell swoop… Some need to happen in stages, in order to prepare you and/or your surroundings adequately.
I have had to make some enormously life changing decisions over the years, some of which were exceptionally daunting at the time, leaving me with an overwhelming sense of panic as to whether the selection I was making was in fact the best one for me – but as I sit here today, I know that it was precisely so on each and every occasion, even if that did not become apparent until months or even years down the line.
Learning to accept this process is the most important part of it all, but is probably the most difficult.
“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” ― C. JoyBell C.
The road of life is also not traveled alone, it is scattered with the presence of others which adds another dimension to the decision making process and its level of complication. It is like adding weather to a baron scene. There are the emotions, influences, attachments, connections, memories and the heart – all of which sway us to and fro…
The reality of the matter however, is that there are no “right or wrong” decisions to be made… there are just different decisions with different outcomes. None of which are cast in stone and all of which can be altered should we decide to take a different direction at another point.
I will say it again – it is all about trusting the unfolding of the process and realising that whatever outcome shows its face at the present point in time, is not necessarily the same face that you will be greeted with a little while later…
This is NOT always easy – but it is necessary.
“Who can really say how decisions are made, how emotions change, how ideas arise? We talk about inspiration; about a bolt of lightning from a clear sky, but perhaps everything is just as simple and just as infinitely complex as the processes that make a particular leaf fall at a particular moment. That point has been reached, that's all. It has to happen, and it does happen.” ― John Ajvide Lindqvist
I made a decision the other day which was riddled with uncertainty and complete certainty all at once – right now, I am still at the point of having to trust that it is all going to unfold just as it was meant to.
I am still feeling a little like an exposed wound and completely hanging in limbo, having thrown myself into the deep end and now forced to tread water until I can make my way to a place where I can feel the ground beneath my feet once again. It is not easy and yes, it hurts.
“There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.” ― Judith McNaught
There are most likely several eyes faced in my direction at this point because of the decision I made, as well as derogatory remark probably being thrown in my general direction too no doubt.
BUT…
I know why I made the decision I did - and as much as I will admit that it was not an easy one to make, I am standing my ground on it because I don’t have the time or the energy for underhanded play - with people saying one thing and doing another... nor do I want to waste precious time and energy on people who are so quick to discard your value and efforts.
Be forthright, honest, appreciative and most importantly... apologise when you have been wrong - or - simply get out of my way and yes... that is my "decision" and I am throwing it out there and if it is "heard"... perhaps it will change the outcome.
“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” ― C. JoyBell C.
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
