Do you find find the thought of apples that never rot creepy? Do you secretly suspect Monsanto is the Anti-Christ? Yeah, me too. Hi. I'm Jennifer Skyler, and I'm afraid of Genetically Modified Organisms.
I mean, Australia, Switzerland, Bulgaria, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Japan, Hungary, New Zealand, Peru, Russia, and France have all taken a stand against Frankenfoods - and they're no fools. Then again, their governments aren't in bed with Monsanto, Creator of All things Poisonous and Freaky, like Agent Orange, Round-Up, and rBGH - oh yeah, and Genetically Modified Organisms. *Shiver*.
I'll be honest - I'm not perfect. I've snuck a handful or two of microwave popcorn out of my roommate's bowl and pretended it wasn't genetically modified... or radiated... and that the fake butter was real. I admit, I ignored the Hitchcockian Psycho knife stab screech in my ears while I chewed and swallowed because it tasted good, real good, damn it.
So, yeah... I'm not perfect.
Typically, I like to stick to writing fiction, and comedy. I'm a holistic nutrition nerd, however, with certification to prove it - and feel strongly that - pardon my colloquialism - we are what we eat. So, if you wish to raise your pitchfork in protest of Frankenfoods along with me, here's a little info about how to avoid turning yourself into a GMO Monster...
We are what we eat, right?
First, you gotta know:
THE TOP GMO CROPS & GMO INGREDIENTS
1. Canola Oil - Also known as rapeseed oil. Foreboding, am I right?
2. Corn - High Fructose Corn Syrup, Glucose, Fructose, ALL NON-ORGANIC CORN. *cue Psycho sound*
3. Cottonseed Oil - It's frequently found in vegetable oils, margarine. And tasty potato chips. CRAP.
4. Soybeans - Soy milk, tofu, soy protein, and then of course the insidious and IN EVERYTHING, soy lecithin.
5. Sugar Beets - Frequently appears as the ingredient "sugar". Say wha...? Yup. Sugar.
Take a peek at the ingredients in your boxed or prepared foods and chances are, you're hosting GMO's in your very own home. *faint*
So, when you've cleared your cupboards and freezer, and dropped your protesting pitchfork, just what can you raise your fork to?
LOOK FOR PRODUCTS LABELED NON-GMO, or GMO FREE.
BUY ORGANIC.
The USDA National Organic Program prohibits GMO crops from being used in certified organic crops for food & animal feed. And, yes, Evil Monsanto tries to mix their freaky seeds into some organic farmland so that they can sue the organic farmers, but generally, if it is labeled USDA organic, your food item is non-GMO.
SHOP LOCALLY.
GMO food is typically produced on creepy large industrial farms by big corporate food companies. So F them. Support your local farmers at a Farmer's Market near you or buy from a local Community Supported Agriculture (CSA).
GROW YOUR OWN.
Garden outdoors or invest in a kick-ass hydroponic system for indoors, such as something like this:
You'll save money in the long run, and have the satisfaction that from tiny organic seed to your awesome mouth, you made sure you kept the monsters away.