Certainty is primitive, leads to “us versus them” tribalism, and starts wars. We should be united in our uncertainty, not divided over fabricated certainty. — Tim Urban, Religion for the Nonreligious, Wait But Why
Some frat boy on my trip to Israel a few years ago said something that made me want to murder him. And I don’t like murdering.
We were in a circle sharing what we had learned. People discussed nice things like empathy and the challenging of old beliefs. Expected. Cool.
And then the frat boy said, “I have very strong opinions and I feel like at this point in my life my ideologies are pretty much set, but it was good to see everything up close to back up my views.”
I wrote it down because I was so amazed at the explicit confirmation-bias seeking. But everybody is too set in their beliefs. I am too.
You’re scrolling Facebook and some idiot posts something you disagree with. Your heart speeds up. Your brain hurts. That tension is cognitive dissonance. Even nice people get a murdering impulse. Our brains don’t like their worldviews being challenged.
But when there’s no room for changing your mind, for I might be wrong, you’ve completely shut off the possibilities of learning, connection, or listening. Real listening.
Hearing it so explicitly gave me my own cognitive dissonance. Ironic.
I didn’t murder him. I don’t plan to do any murdering — but I guess if certainty is the enemy, I can’t shut off any options.
I’m right. You’re wrong. Regardless of truth, the more certain we are, the more fragile and separate we are.
I hope you tell me I’m wrong and I hope I lose that argument.