Oi, what are you up to?
I looked up from the floor where I lay, clutching at an empty beer bottle.
Chain's down, baby.
I slurred manfully from cracked but still handsome lips.
What chain? What the hell are you talking about?
The Good Lady seemed cross as she swayed, blurry in my vision back and forth above me.
What the hell was I talking about? Who was this woman? Didn't she have the slightest idea what I was going through? The Steem blockchain was down, taking all of the associated front-ends with it and as a result I had tumbled into a pit of despair, pity and self-loathing.
I wasn't proud to admit it but as the seconds had turned into minutes, I had turned to the beer in an attempt to numb the pain. It seemed like the answer but even a whole one didn't help.
Was there nothing that could wash this hurt away?
And now the Good Lady was coming at me, like a shrieking harpy of grim death.
I rolled clumsily on to my front, mewling pathetically as I got my feet under me and stood to face her.
Ewww, Is that beer, on a school night?
Her face cracked with disapproval like stretched arse pastry.
I waggled the beer bottle at her. The alcohol coursing through my veins lending me a mean courage.
Yes, it's beer and what of it? Am I not a man? Am I not grieving? I told you, the CHAIN IS DOWN?
There, it was out. I had said it.
Oh, that Steemit nonsense? Down again? Come here, it will be alright.
The Good Lady held out her arms.
What did she say? Down again? The cheek of the woman!
I wanted to shout and scream and deny that Steemit had ever been down and boast of the testing that had been done this time and shout about haters and complex forks maybe even throw in the word community but I couldn't.
Instead I tumbled into her arms with a sob.
She smoothed my lustrous locks with one hand and held me tight.
It will be alright, I am sure it will be alright.
She soothed.
I shook my head.
It felt like nothing would ever be alright again.
Update: some grievously long minutes later the blockchain was back up and running but by then it was too late to prevent 
some of the above just might be an exaggeration, I did have a couple of beers and a giggle whilst watching the drama unfold!