Achievement

I just can't believe she is six.

I said wonderingly to the good lady.

We were watching our daughter tear at a bundle of presents on the floor. It was her sixth birthday and I was struggling to process the passing of time.

Time does fly.

Said the good lady happily.

I nodded.

Deep down though I was terrified. The last six years had passed in the blink of an eye.

I had been a relative youngster at the grand old age of forty when our daughter had clawed her way out of her Mummy-Bear's torn up old vadge.

Where had time gone?

She will be eighteen before we know it, eh?

Said the good lady happily.

My heart started dropping beats like a rubbish high-school DJ.

Eighteen?

My eyes bulged and my naughty Carmella clenched unbearably.

I felt an overwhelming urge to run away. Or buy cocaine and hire several hooker's for a sexy party.

Eighteen. That was twelve years away. What if it passed in the blink of an eye too, I would be nigh on sixty!? I felt a tad faint.

Isn't she the best thing we have ever done?

Asked the good lady, a soppy smile threatening to wrap itself the whole way around her head.

Um, yeah.

I agreed.

My mind was in turmoil though. Was she the best thing we had ever done?

My mind wandered back over my past achievements.

I had been in a band and released some real music...

But that seemed so long ago. That probably didn't count anymore.

I had won a Kung Fu competition once. That too seemed so long ago.

Fucking hell, were my children the only thing that I had achieved recently? Do they really count as an achievement? I mean all I did really was ejaculate profusely up the good lady's pork mitten.

True, I did it with a fair bit of style and panache but when all is said and done that hardly counts as an achievement.

Does it?

Lordy ho, my head was a whirl. Was I heading for a midlife crisis?

Surely I had achieved something of note recently beyond spegging my fertile sperms all over the shop?

Wait... There was!

I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I had. I had achieved something of note recently!!

I had an excellent shit last Thursday. Even thinking about it now bought me out in a big smile.

All was not lost.