There it is. You like?
El Jefe waved a hand proudly at a grubby off-white wall we were standing beside.
It's a wall?
I said with some trepidation lest it wasn't really a wall but a big door or something.
Not just a wall. It's your wall. Hmm, hmm!
I moved closer to the dirty wall and tentatively poked it with a finger. It seemed real enough. The wall had an oily, inky sheen to it which had now transferred to the tip of my finger.
Well, thank you. I can honestly say that I have never been given a wall before.
I beamed at El Jefe. He beamed back.
Well now you have!
He stated happily, giving his bulbous tum a bit of a self-satisfied rub, like it was an old greasy-haired dog.
Splendid.
We stood there for some moments admiring the wall for its ability to support the roof.
Can I take it home with me?
I said jauntily.
El Jefe grunted as though passing an unpeeled potato out his grumpkin.
He raised a hand as if to smite me then halted, the puzzled look on his face clearing into understanding.
Ha. Haha! A funny one. Haha, oh very funny.
His outstretched hand descended, not to kill me with one fell blow to the neck but instead to pat me on the shoulder.
I like that, you always have been a funny one.
He chortled merrily.
I felt an icy hand of sheer terror clasp at my heart. What the hell was going on? Had El Jefe been smoking dried banana? Why was he laughing at my joke? Had I died and this was hell?
But no... This is your Kanban wall. You and your team can have daily stand-up meetings here. It will be fantastic for productivity.
I twisted the corners of my mouth up into what I hoped was a smile and not a frigid grimace of fear.
My team of one...?
El Jefe shook me about a bit via the hand that was still on my shoulder. Leaning in close he whispered in a conspiratorial voice.
Well there is you and Cow-Lick. How many is that?
Yes, two!
El Jefe turned to face the wall, a happy sigh hissing out of him like a frog in a fire. He turned back around to face me
And what does one plus one make?
Two?
I answered somewhat desperately. Something didn't seem right about all this.
Exactly, two. You see? I knew you would get it. You have always been sharp that way.
He walked off humming something that sounded suspiciously like I wish it could be Christmas every day...
I gazed at his retreating back. My spidey-sense was tingling like mad. Something was afoot. Was this a test? A challenge? I had no idea.
I went over to Cow-Lick who was sat nearby watching with some amusement. In fact I had a sneaking suspicion he had been laughing.
Cow-Lick.
Yes Boss man?
You see that wall?
Our wall, yes I do.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
Good, now draw some lines on it.
What?
You heard mate, get drawing.
I headed out for a coffee leaving him looking at the wall with the same confusion I had just moments ago.
Maybe this management thing might not be so bad after all.