Saturday beers! Not just any Saturday though. This one is special. After last night's trial of baby teething (not a euphemism) and no sleep, I thought it would be a perfect time to mix two of my favourite things.
So I stuck a can of beer up the good lady's chuff and got my salmon gargler out...
Ha! Of course not! Instead I decided to mix it up with coffee style beers! That will keep me awake surely? Hopefully at least awake long enough to get half gished!
So the first sleep banishing brew is...
Orinoco, by Drygate Brewing. I was actually in the brewery last week. It's really not far and is one of the funkier places to chill and schnizz in the Glasgow area.
Orinoco though, keeps making me hum that shitty Enya song... Sail away, sail away, sail away...
Well, we will see who will be sailing away...
It has a cool can, all milk rivers and figures of eight. Gets my conspiracy giblets all moist but that's another story.
Look at that black pouriness! Like sweet black spider juice.
Massive tan head, all froth and sandy beach foam.
As for the taste. Well first, it smells lovely. All sweet and vanilla. I am tempted to ask it for a dance. But no, instead I cruelly cast it into the yawning pit that is my mouth.
It's a grand milk stout, creamy vanilla, dark chocolate and then boom. That darkly roasted coffee twaddle running up from behind and biffing you one. The malty aftertaste lingers in a lovely way. Not too long but enough for a chew.
I will give this a solid 8/10 booms!
Is my night going to be top donk or degenerate into bawhummery?
Let the next beer decide!
I have the slight fear over this one. Coffee and coconut? The last time I tried that was with some bullet coffee which left me feeling that I had just oiled up my mouth for a bad porn shoot.
Oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained.
Goodness me, this one is blacker than the last. Like mushed up snakes eyes. The head is less impressive but I have never been a head man.
I ready myself for the coconut punch. Like that time I went out with the girl from New Zealand...
I should film it. Ah yes. Here we go.
Well. That's peculiar. It doesn't really taste of much. A bit beery maybe? Maybe? Is maybe good enough? I mean it's so lacking in taste that it reminds me of a guy I went to college with who masturbated into a cup for a year.
I don't even know how to rate it. It doesn't taste bad. It's kinda wet and had a slight hint of something like beer. There might have been coconut in it. Then again it could have been mango or jobbies the taste was so slight.
I will give it a 4/10 booms. 4 because it didn't taste bad. Just didn't really do anything. Boring people might like it. That's a plus!.
Well, I am going to get tucked into lots more great beers. Have a good weekend everyone!!
Cheers!