Hey BoomDawg! It's roasting outside and it's Friday, you up for some lunch in the sun?
I looked up from an important document. One of my workmates Bin-Juice towered over my desk.
I had a glance out the window, it was indeed sunny. A rarity for April in Scotland.
Erm, aye alright then muckster. You heading just now?
Aye man! Come on, let's get out into that sun!
His enthusiasm was infectious. Why the heck not? I stood up and as I did so I couldn't help but notice that he wasn't wearing his jacket. My back chuff tightened slightly with a pang of fear.
I will just grab my jacket?
I said, hopefully.
Bin-Juice spluttered, as if he had caught me eating a pear.
A jacket? Are you mental? It's boiling outside. Look at it? Look at it!!!
I looked reluctantly at the pale Scottish sun doing it's best to look as if it could boil something. My eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the corner of the window where the last vestiges of the morning frost stubbornly clung on.
Peer pressure. Mans greatest enemy. No other force makes man so stupid.
I found myself nodding like a buffoon.
We walked out of the building. As we stepped into the sunlight for a moment it almost did seem warm. The blood pounded in my veins and I had to fight the urge to claw at my shirt and throw it to the ground in the grand Scottish tradition of taps aff.
We went to a nearby coffee shop and grabbed some mawfee and a seat at one of the outside tables.
The pale yellow sun shone down on us. According to my phone, it was 15 degrees Celsius. That wasn't taking into account the wind though, which by my reckoning was dragging the temperature down to single figures.
Bin-Juice regaled me with tales of his wild family chopping down a tree for being English.
I nodded and smiled throughout. My nipples were getting all hard and not in a sexy sexy way. The cold was making them poke out and chafe against my shirt.
I whimpered slightly.
Bin-Juice pounced indignantly.
Hey, don't tell me you are cold, it's fucking lovely man, it's practically fucking summer!
I looked at him, his cheeks were red and I could swear that I could see his breath fogging out on the frigid Spring air.
Oh well, fuck peer pressure.
Bin-Juice. I am heading inside. It's fucking freezing and I know you are being optimistic and we are Scottish so we have to pretend that this weather is amazing because it might be the best we get all year but really man... It's fucking freezing? Are you coming?
Bin-Juice took a big deep breath. Then deflated with a whoosh.
Aye alright man, it's fucking freezing. Let's go. But hey, if anyone asks, we were out in the sun all lunchtime ok?
I snorted, like a bull eating noodles.
Of course mate!
We headed inside, honour satisfied.