I've got a client.
Said the good lady with the oddest expression in her face.
A bloody what? What are we, a prostitute now?
I said somewhat incredulously. I certainly hadn't seen this coming. Although I did have a memory of promising a two hour massage in exchange for some hungry hippo mouth snorfling once.
Damn, it's a slippery slope. It probably all started from there.
Very funny Daddy, I am sure it hasn't escaped your attention that I have been training to become a Doula?
Hmm, that did ring a bit of a bell.
But you haven't finished your training? Wasn't I doing your website? I haven't finished it yet. How can you have a client? Is it even allowed?
Yes it's allowed you doofus. Someone on the Doula Facebook group recommended me based on the advice I was giving to someone else and it just snowballed from there.
I gazed at her with my best Kung Fu master face. She gazed back.
I narrowed my eyes.
She held my stare and tilted her head to one side.
The silence stretched out.
I raised an eyebrow.
She furrowed her whole-brow.
I took a deep breath and let it out.
How much are you charging this client?
The good lady stated a number. I gasped as if punched right on the tip of the penis.
Really? Like, wtfunkz? Is that normal? Are you a high-class Doula or something?
Oh, ha ha. It is perfectly normal. Anyway you are the one who told me to rate what I did and not to undersell myself.
Did I? Wow, I rock.
I patted my tummy as if I had just eaten a wolf.
Alright then. Just one thing though?...
Yes Daddy bear?
This client... It's not a man is it?
Yes Daddy bear, it's a man. I can't wait.
I gave her my best someone's been boiling beef in the kettle again face.
Ha bloody ha.
Trust her to take a joke too far.