You mean I can choose any one at all? Like anything?
The Litle Lady looked at my Scabby Beer Shelf.
We were in my garage. Affectionately known to me as my man cave. Not to be confused with the man cave I had in the attic which was really more of a manaconda milking station.
It was Lockdown, beer of the speciality kind was proving a bit harder to get than I would have preferred.
As a result, we stood here before the Scabby Beer Shelf.
It was a sorry looking thing. The result of many years of my own impulse beer buying and beer gifts given to me by relatives who drink Vodka with names like Kalashnikov or Glen's.
Almost every beer on the shelf looked shite. Most of them were probably out of date.
It was a sign of utter desperation even to approach it.
A dead mouse lay half decaying in a trap covered in splattery bits underneath the Scabby Beer Shelf.
Most likely it had blundered into the trap as it ran in terror from the beers it had found. Ah well, you can stay there as a warning to your wee bastard friends.
There was nothing else for it. My beer delivery had fallen through. PayPal having decided to review my payment for 72 hours for random reasons.
I was not best pleased.
Fucking PayPal.
To spite myself, I had decided that the Little Lady could choose me a beer from the Scabby Beer Shelf.
She looked at the shitty beers in awe. She had been delighted when I had asked her if she would choose me one to review on Beer Saturday.
Yeah, little lass. Choose whatever one you like.
It didn't really matter. They were all as shite as each other.
What was the harm in letting her choose?
Oh, Oh!! Look at this!
The Little Lady ignored the beers at the front and started tugging at something shit shaped tucked way behind them.
It was a musty old bottle and seemed quite reluctant to be parted from the back of the shelf.
Eventually, it came free and the Little Lady presented it to me. It looked like it had a drawing of a severed hand on it.
Viola. barrel-aged sour with cherries and blackcurrants.
Bleurgh. It looked fucking awful. How had she managed to pick the worst looking thing from the shelf?
Did I do good, Daddy?
She beamed at me as I turned the bottle over and over in my hand.
Naw, ya wee bastard. You chose the shittiest thing in the country and put it in my hand with a smile.
I thought bitterly.
Maybe we had just discovered her Super Power?
Well, little one, you are not the only one who has a Super Power.
Daddy Lie Mode - Engage.
Good call, lass! You made an awesome choice. I am gonna love this! Mmmm mmm!