My friends, they call me Satan.
The guy on my screen chuckled as if we were in a field picking strawberries and he had just found one that looked like a penis.
I looked at him blankly. He was the least demonically evil looking man I had ever set my eyes upon.
Frowning, I shifted closer to my screen to give him a good look.
Satan bobbed up and down on his seat on the screen. I didn't get this. He was just a tiny looking guy with a funny goatee and his friends called him Satan? The great horned beast? I mean what the fuck?
It was a video call right enough and I couldn't see his legs. Did he maybe have back to front goat'y legs?
Should I ask him to stand up so I could see?
They call you Satan, do they?
I tried to inject a bit of jollity to my voice as if we were all work colleagues and none of us was in danger of getting a red-hot hell-poker rammed up their rectum.
Yes, you know because my name is Natan. See?
He grinned.
On the video call several other people grinned too, one of them, a fellow with lots of K's and Z's in his name piped up.
We laugh at this, he is not really Satan.
I glared at Lots-of-K's-and-Z's.
Oh, so now he is not Satan? Well, make up your mind you bunch of half satanic bastards. Is he the Devil himself and I have to watch what I say just in case he sets the Hell-Hounds on me? Or is he just a prick with a beard?
Then it dawned on me. Wait a minute... Natan... Satan...
I got it now! They called him Satan because his name was Natan! It rhymed! It was like poetry. I stared at my new Eastern European team mate and wondered with his rugged looks and penchant for the ryhmes if he was related to ?
Well, I am glad we cleared that up. Who's next to introduce themselves then?
Lots-of-K's-and-Z's cleared his throat.
I will go next, my name is ...
Lots-of-K's-and-Z's. said something that sounded like he was gargling with rocks.
I smiled and nodded like an old man opening a tin of anchovies.
That's a tricky one, can we call you Satan instead?
I grinned my cheeky, doing the hokey-cokey grin.
No, I do not think so.
Said Lots-of-K's-and-Z's humourlessly.
Bugger.