AWWOOOOOOO AWWOOOOOOOO!
I shouted, doing my very best to imitate a klaxon.
What the hell are you doing?
Shouted the good lady.
I have only just got little boom to sleep!?!
I came out of the kitchen, a roll of duct tape in one hand and my WD40 in the other. I had a pot on my head and a manic look in my eye.
Sleep can wait baby. It's started. We gotta bunker down. We gotta go to the mattresses.
The what? The Mattresses? What mattresses? Have you gone bonkers again? You haven't been mixing the beer and the coffee at the same time have you?
The mattresses, you know? Like, the mattresses??!
What the bloody hell are the mattresses, the only mattresses we have are in our beds!
Gods woman, didn't you learn anything from when we watched the Godfather? The Sopranos? We have to go to ground. It's all over Steemit. It's happening.
I hunkered down on the floor and started duct taping two broom handles together to make a long poke'y type weapon.
You know I can't be arsed with your Steemit obsession. What's happening?
I stopped what I was doing. My face took on a bleak expression as if I had stumbled desperately into a public toilet for some diarrhoeas only to find that there was no toilet paper and someone had already sponked their muck on the seat.
As gently as I could, I broke it to her.
War, baby. That's whats happening.
Oh my god.
The good lady swayed on her feet and reached out to the door frame for support.
Again? Like the last time, what was it... The Whale War?
That's right my little potato pie. Like last time. This time people have been paying for votes and then the vote sellers got greedy and started taking piles of money to let any old twoddle be voted up to the moon and now those posts are getting flagged and the authors are screaming war and that it is the end of EVERYTHING. There are FLAGS!! We have to be ready, we have to get down to the basement. Wait it out.
But we don't even have a basement!?
Well alright then, I have made a den in the garage with some blankets and stashed some chocolate and water in it. We can hide there.
I started to tug on her arm.
But we have to get the children?
I cupped her cheeks gently in my hands.
There's no time, we have to leave them.
She screamed before falling into a dead faint.
Outside the clouds gathered darkly.