Hang on tight baby G, we're going to the moon. Yeeehaaaaw!!!
I held on to my imaginary hat and galloped around the lounge on a steed that only existed in my head.
Yeah!! This is what we do!
I laughed as the wind in my head whipped my luscious hair back and forth.
Oh lord. What is it now? What has happened that has once again necessitated me hanging on tight for yet another journey to the moon. The last one was 3 dollar Hive?
The Good Lady put her book down and gave me a long-suffering glance as if I was an incontinent chicken that kept delivering shitty eggs.
It's the Hot Beefy Dollars baby. They upped the interest rate. We are gonna be rich! No more of that bland champagne muck. We gonna be drinking us some MOONSHINE!
I pulled down on a pretend truck horn and made a huge HONK noise like it was the eighties and I was drivin' my rig with a lipsticked Orangutan in the passenger seat.
That's the steem dollars is it?
The Good Lady said without realising she had just insulted the chain of Kings by mentioning anything to do with the dark place.
Not Steem, silly. This is Hive, specifically the Hot Beefy Dollars on Hive, or HBD for short. They pumped up the interest rate on the HBD savings! Everyone is talking about it! Or rather, everyone is making a cash grab of a post about it.
... well, when in Rome...
I badly mimed digging for gold and tried not to look as if I was enthusiastically tugging at a Rhino's penis. There is a thin line between the two.
So what is it? Like one of those funny farm things you go on about with a thousand percent interest?
The Good Lady sniggered cruelly at the DeFi's.
No no, this is truly legit. It is twenty percent. It might not sound like much compared to the DeFi farms but it's a heck of a lot. I don't think I need to show you the math to make you realise we is a gonna be RICH!
I punched the air in hot beefy victory.
Twenty percent? How will that make us rich? Have you hidden millions I don't know about?
She perked up, the idea of hidden millions stuffed in a crypto shoebox under the stairs piquing her interest.
Oh yes, I went there...interest...
Oh for goodness sake. Ok, well let's start with an easy example. You have a thousand dollars. You leave it there and after a year... BOOOM!!! You have TWO THOUNDLAND DOLLARS!
This time I followed up my victory air punch with a vicious left hook that left the turgid air in the lounge reeling.
That's not right? After a year you would have twelve hundred dollars plus some change depending on the compounding interval.
She said this with the certainty of a person who has watched a YouTube video on the subject.
I rolled my eyes. Surely I didn't have to get the explainy guns out?
No, my darling. Look. To work out what twenty percent is, start by dividing your number by ten to get ten percent... See, ten percent of one thousand benjamins is one hundred. Now to get twenty percent, simply multiply that number by twenty. Sooo, 100 times twenty equals... TWO THOUSAND BENNIES!
I conducted an invisible orchestra and led them on a melancholy dance in D Minor.
... which as we all know is the saddest of all keys...
But...
The Good Lady reeled back as if astounded by such logical perfection.
Before she could interrupt me further I took the challenge to her.
Anyways, what's wrong with you? Why do you have such a problem with happiness and success? Have you never seen that meme? You know, the one that says if you want it enough the universe will give it to you or some such rubbish?
source: me
Yes but, that's a load of hogwash?
She sputtered incredulously as if dealing with a nincompoop.
It's not hogwash baby. It's the power of twenny X.
Do you mean twenty x?
Nope, twenny. Twenny X. This is crypto baby, go big or go home.
I crossed my arms smugly. Get out of that one you unbelieving horror of a woman.
I am glad for you. I might not pack my bags for the moon though if that's ok?
She smiled and patted my arm and headed off into another room to find something boring to do.
I settle back in my chair shaking my head.
Fine, I will pack my own moon bags.