oh wow! Dont give up on life bekcause God hasnt given up on you. he has a plan for u its just right now is not that time, but it will come to you ! i felt just like you at times, but i found that a vegan lifestyle has change every aspect of m life. The power of food can lift you up from quick sand. life will change its direction even when you didnt plan it. all you can do is handle it ,worse you can do is panic. use it to your advantage avoid insanity and manage to conqour every obstacle and make the impossible possible. even when winning isnt logical losing is still far from optional.