I know and understand exactly how you feel, I lost my dog Charlie a couple of years ago, there's still not a day goes by without me thinking of him, I carry a picture of him in my wallet and look at his picture everyday, and I kind of talk to the picture too, which may seem strange to some, but thinking about how they were when they were with us still makes me smile, and thats what you should concentrate on. They are a bigger part of our lives than we know, and we miss them with all our hearts. Wishing you a merry christmas, all the best :-)