Loneliness
Did you ever have the feeling that you are alone in a room full of people? That awful feeling when you go home at the end of the day and suddenly you're all by yourself again, with no one to ask how was your day. That moment when all your problems gather up in your head and you're only left with your own opinion about them. Or when your friends are, for whatever reason, unavailable so you are on your own. Well, let me share my experiences over the years and how i managed to cope with spending time alone.
As i mentioned in my earlier post i do tend to overthink and overstress because of everything and i'm also a drinker, which can never be a good thing when alone. I also have a lot of guilt in my heart because of the disgusting things i have done. The worst part of being alone and constantly being in a loop, flashing thoughts of things you regret through your head is the fact that there is only your opinion on that for your brain to process. Humans are social beings and we're dependant on what others think, feel and how they view us and other things or people. So, when there is a lack of others opinion your brain automaticaly picks the only one it has and chooses it as the best one, your own opinion. Now this sounds like a horrible thing, so you need somene elses advice or opinion or even someone to think for you sometimes, but those are the cahracteristics of a easily manipulated person.
Let me explain myself. When i'm all alone and i've had some drinks and, all of a sudden, all the shit from my past comes poking me in the brain telling me: "You're a fucking degeneric". Now, over time i have learned to bypass these thoughts. Loneliness is your friend. It doesn't ask questions, but gives answers, it's all in your head actualy. Don't be ashamed of being alone if you need to. Not always will you be alone because you just have to, i personaly prefer being alone when i'm having a rough time. I hate it when people say talk to me about your problems or concearns, it absolutely pisses me off. Why would i want your opinion if you're not me? I believe i am big enough to think for myself and i think that everyone should listen to only themselves, because at the end of the day we all know best for us.
Lonely lion on the top of the hill