Maybe I struggle with Gratitude because, I’m selfish.
Maybe I struggle with Gratitude because, I’m selfish.
Ouch. That’s a hard one to swallow. As someone who has no problem giving to others and often does so, to the point of her own exhaustion, among all my flaws, selfishness isn’t usually among my greatest hits.
Today in my gratefulness meditation, I was confronted with the word MORE.
The need for more, to sustain what I have, and to build on top of that, to clutch so tightly to the things that I think I need in my life or that will make me happy that I’m so focused on retention, I seldom enjoy them.
The pursuit of more is keeping me from happiness, and keeping me from gratefulness. -- I’m selfish, greedy and impatient.
The pursuit of more is keeping me from happiness, and keeping me from gratefulness. -- I’m selfish, greedy and impatient.
In this focused meditation, the guide prompts you to think of a time you were grateful… immediately I was transported to this moment in Portugal.
It was our last day and we decided to head to the top of the park that we could see daily from our hotel room. It was a beautiful sunny, day and from up there you could see all the way down to the water.
I sat near the glittering fountain, under the massive flag of Lisbon, grateful for time with 
It was one of those moments that stops you in your tracks and smacks you in the face with gratitude.
When I returned there in meditation today, I was instantly saddened. By the fact that it was over, the fact that in a few weeks I’ll be leaving my love again, and by the anxiety of how in the world Id be able to achieve any type of permanence that could get me back so we could have moments like that...
Selfish I know. It’s hard for me to admit. I’m not a materialistic person, I’m generous with my time and assets and I often put myself last over the needs of others, but when it comes to chasing a life with someone I love, living a life that makes me happy and expressing myself in the way I feel I’m meant to, I’m greedy as all hell, and impatient to boot.
When we were at the top of that park, enjoying the beautiful view, there were planes constantly swooping down to the nearby airport right over our heads, and so I’ve decided, as a part of my practice of gratitude that whenever I see or hear a plane overhead, I’m going to take a moment to be grateful for where I am, who I am and what I have, no matter what the circumstance.
The teacher guiding the meditation called these reminders Gratitude Signs. But I prefer “Sleeper cell of Thankfulness, Triggered by Aviatory Activity”.
I hope you had a lovely Day 3, or day whatever depending on when you’ve started. It’s making me so happy to see you guys jumping in on Discord and sharing your posts and experiences while meditating this month. I’m so thankful for the awesome folks in this community
<3
Dayleeo
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If you’re meditating with us through the Month of march, feel free to use the hashtag #MeditationMarch and join us on Discord so we can share thoughts and encourage each other!
Not sure what #MeditationMarch is all about?
>> Check out this post for all the details! <<
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