In all honesty, I’m having a tough time loving myself today, I really needed an injection of gratitude for my thoughts about body specifically…
It’s a tale as old as time I’m afraid. Girl, looks in mirror, doesn’t like what she sees, vows to change it, fails, self esteem dips lower, and so the cycle repeats for years and years.
Although I struggle with body confidence on occasion, it’s no where near as bad as it used to be. I think I have yoga to thank for a big part of that progress. Being with my body, instead of observing it from the outside in, allowing it to grow and become stronger and to carry me through something I love has certainly increased my appreciation of it, but there are still days where I just feel… bleh.
The sun decided to show its face this afternoon so I decided to roll out the mat and do a class called Feel The Love before my meditation.
I started to feel some instability and weakness in my back so I called it a bit early not finishing the class and sat down to meditate.
It felt good to slow down, to breathe deep and do an entire body scan, concentrating on releasing tension in my neck, down through my abdomen and out to my legs and arms. I started to think how nice it’s going to be to take a hot shower later and slip into some warm freshly- dried laundry.
And an interesting thing happened, when I started focusing on the things that would made my body feel good, and the ways I could care for it, I felt far less critical about it.
For me, when I’m feeling self critical about my physical appearance, the LAST thing I think to do is to pamper myself. I don’t think I’m the only one who will admit that sometimes we go into an almost self-punishing mode, based on what we think we “deserve.”
Not only is it unproductive to think this way, it’s counter productive, and it's holding you back from actually being able to execute that change! As soon as I started taking time to treat myself a little nicer, the gratitude came shortly after… and in waves!
Gratitude for the fact that my body, despite its aches and pains carried me through a lovely yoga practice moments earlier, gratitude that I was sitting in the sun, enjoying the function of my skin’s nerve endings which were sending warm fuzzy vibes to my brain, and gratitude for the fact that my body has brought me this far! That's something right??
I certainly don’t like certain things about my body, but they’re ALL changeable. I don’t have any debilitating disease injuries or illness, I hardly ever have more than an occasional cold in fact. THAT is what’s the most important and what I’m thankful for today….
—Until tomorrow friends <3
If you’re meditating with me through the Month of march, feel free to use the hashtag #MeditationMarch and join us on Discord so we can share thoughts and encourage eachother. I’m already looking forward to what tomorrow will bring.
<3
Dayleeo