Well well well it's Day 6 of focused meditation on Gratefulness! In some ways, it feels like the first 5 days I've ever been grateful because at the end of each session I end up feeling like an absolute BRAT for feeling, cranky, frustrated or insecure.
Its been a bit of a struggle the past few days, in truth my head has been all over the place. But each day I've been able to bring myself back...
Meditation is becoming my mental-state "Get Out Of Jail Free" card.
Like an ejector seat a fighter pilot would use to bail out of a jet plummeting toward earth. And the sooner I can get over my own ego, and quit punishing myself and just take 10 or 15 minutes to just SIT, the better it is.
Todays Gratitude meditation focused on self acceptance. It's pretty telling about my head-state lately, because I was entirely expecting to be delving into the pits of my physical insecurities to confront long standing demons weilding a sword crafted with enlightenment and superior intellect. And there was.. nothing.
I was directed to focus on times I was brave, times I took a risk, times that I rose to the occasion and times that I kept fighting in spite of feeling like I had nothing left. And far be it from me to brag, or gas myself up, (those of you who frequent this blog know that's my my thing) but, it helped me remember that, I've done all of those things.
"Yeah you!"
I've walked away from relationships that weren't right, I've walked dogs in the rain in New York city for 50 bucks a day (on a good day), I've worked hard to brake familial patterns that were destructive and don't serve me. I've taken risks, pursued, love, life, and the things that make me happy. I've worked hard to improve my mental and physical health to be able to carry a gal full of passion for life through all the adventures that still await her.
I am the sum of all these things, and so, why do I choose to focus on physical imperfections? Silly isn't it...
Until tomorrow friends,
<3
Dayleeo