Isn't it weird that it's easier to type into the void about depression than it is to talk to someone close to you?

My depression is work & future related, with a side-swipe of alcoholism. So it's different to yours, but I hear you!

I don't have an answer, other than that for me the depression comes in cycles and I've learned that in a few days I'll feel much better, so there's no need to do something that might be irreversible.
I was unbelievably fucking depressed on Monday, but tonight I'm cool. I reckon I'm good now for a fortnight, but I know it'll be back and then it'll go again.

Last night, I went to see Mary Gauthier in concert. She's promoting an album written with American service personnel and their families. If you want to hear something life-affirming in the throes of depair - that's where you need to be!

https://www.marygauthier.com/album-discography

Lastly, it's okay to feel depressed - social media pressures suggest it's not, but it is. Anyone who says they don't once in a while want to throw in the towel is lying.
And there's always Lego. Guaranteed to make you feel better.