We all want to be in control all the time, don't we?
The reality though is that we are rarely in control of most situations or events in our lives. As I am writing this, I have boarded and deplaned from the same plane twice.
A mysterious computer issue kept popping up and airline maintenance could not find the cause. Or so we…the passengers had been told.
I look around me after the second time we are made to deplane. People are angry…irritated, many looking to lash out. The air is pregnant with barely suppressed rage.
Some passengers immediately take their frustrations out on the flight attendants, others wait to unleash their fury upon the airline customer service staff. I admit I was annoyed but I feel all the work I have committed too over the past year on both building psychological resilience and learning about Stoic philosophy have strengthened my ability to handle such adverse and anxiety-provoking situations.
While everyone was crowding the customer service desk complaining and making their frustration known, I went to find a quiet place to update the people who are waiting for me, as well as reflect upon this situation.
This is clearly an example of the lack of control most of us must experience from time to time. I realize this and work on how I can use the situation to better myself.
While looking for a quiet place to reflect, I noticed an elderly gentleman who had also been on the plane. He found a corner seat away from the crowd.
He had his eyes closed and with a serene look on his face was taking long slow deep breaths. I sat near him, just being in his presence a calm, Zen-like feeling overcame me. I felt my previously tight muscles relax.
Now maybe it was just my imagination but he seemed very unhurried and preternaturally calm. Just being near this gentleman allowed me to really let go.
I no longer held any kind of angry or bitter thoughts about my flight being delayed and possibly canceled. Being in that space allowed me to step outside myself and use some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to question my reality.
It also allowed me to be more mindful, another useful strategy for letting go while experiencing stressful circumstances.
Eventually, another plane was found. We boarded that plane, a much newer model and continued on our journey. I lost a few hours of travel time but the self-awareness and personal development I received while in the presence of the elderly gentleman more than made up for my delay.
I lost control of the situation but gained a fundamental lesson in calm and relaxation. A lesson I badly needed.
When was the last time you recognized that you needed to let go?
