Today, my fellow Steemians, I’ll talk about how important it is to let go of your painful upsetting memories and focus more on the present.
Today, I’m deeply hurt and sad. Although my day started off really well as I took my son to his future school (it’ll begin coming week) and he responded to it very nicely. However, a few things happened later in that day that made me upset. Being in a relationship with someone who has temper issues and who blames everything else for his problems is tough. However, sometimes you have to bear it for your child. So yeah, I went through a rough patch with my better-half and all my happiness turned into frustration.
At that point, I found myself slipping into negative thinking and falling into the depression pit. I was on the verge of it really but at that very instant, I recalled my motto in life: live each moment mindfully. I’m so happy I remembered it at that time because if I hadn’t, I would have easily fallen into the depression trap and ruminated on painful memories of the past for far too long. This wouldn’t have benefitted me in any way. Instead, it would have only increased my sadness. You see, ruminating on a painful memory or an experience that happened even a little while ago doesn’t do you any good; it only increases your pain. Luckily, at that moment, I was mindful enough to understand what was happening to me and instead of holding on to that pain, I let go of it and focus only on the present.
How to Let Go of Your Past and the Pain it Brings You
Okay, this part is really, really tough. Letting go of the pain stabbing you in your heart and allowing yourself to move on isn’t easy at all. However, if you don’t do that, you’ll stay stuck somewhere in the past and see your present with a clouded mind too. Even if something nice happens to you, you’ll fail to acknowledge and be appreciative of it because you’re not present in the moment- you’re drowning in the upsetting flood of your memories.And you’ll fail to take any meaningful action too because when you feel extremely depressed, it becomes difficult for you to think and act clearly so yes, you have to move on.
The key to doing that is by very gently bringing your awareness to the present. Say, ‘I am living in the present so I have to focus on it’ or say ‘I let go of my past and focus on the present’ or just say ‘This moment is the present’ or just anything else that makes you realize thinking about your past is taking you away from the present. Keep doing it for a few moments. Yes, your mind will wander off in thought again and then again. Every time that happens, bring it back to the moment. Basically, you have to practice mindfulness based meditation and slowly train yourself to be more aware of the present.
Look around and see anything that adds more value and comfort to your life. your laptop for allowing you to work, your fridge because it helps you keep food in good condition, your child because he gives you a reason to live and anything else that makes your present better. These are all your blessings. Yes, you have a lot to be happy and grateful for in the present than to just stay stuck in the past. When I found myself constantly thinking of the hurtful stuff my husband said to me, I kept looking at my son for he is the reason I’m striving for better things. He is my greatest blessing and looking at him brought me back to the present. You can acknowledge any of your blessings that really make you feel happy.
Just do that a few times and you’ll find yourself feeling better than before. Do this each time you find yourself thinking of something upsetting and ensure to do it at night too because right before sleeping, many people have the habit to think of stuff and that’s when they start to ruminate on bad memories and end up feeling sleepless. Bring your awareness to the present each time you feel frustrated and discontent and think of your blessings.
If the person who hurt you isn’t a bad person overall, think of any of his qualities and good points to help yourself understand that he isn’t bad- it’s the situation around him that’s turning him into an unbearable person. For instance, in my case, my husband isn’t a mean person generally. He is just making a lot less than me which is frustrating him and making him throw tantrums time and again. So when he says something mean to me, I think of his good points and then use them to let go of the hurt his words brought to me. You can try the same and restore peace into your life.
I hope my advice works well for you. Thank you for taking out the time to go through this post. Please do upvote it and follow me. Lots of love for you!