Alright guys, I am about to reveal onyeneke Abel's 101 highly classified file!
The most embarrassing moment of my life. You must promise not to laugh ok?
Ok it was one sunny afternoon back then in school. It's precisely 2015, I was in Hnd 2 then, class of the big boys. Hold let me take a deep breathe before I continue, I have a strong feeling you might laugh at this.
So it was time for class and I was busy scanning through my wardrope, looking for the perfect clothes to wear to woe URAMAH CHINENYE my class most pretty girl. This was my moment, nothing and no one would ruin this for me, no one!
Trust me, I had it all planned out already, Chinenye always come early to class. I was quite the opposite, But this special day, I would make sure I get to class early just to secure a sit with her. I am done crushing from afar, time to own up courage and approach my crush, just like a real man would!
So all the clothes I glanced through were either too extravagant, too vague or unattractive until I got to one perfect trousers with just one problem, it was torn already; and guess where? At the buttock part, where my ass would easily be exposed.
But I was determined so I met my lodgemate for help.
I had to reveal my real reason for trying to mend my trousers the local way. After the guy (my lodgemate) was true laughing his eyes out, he added some useful tips to get this girl with immediate effect.
And so I quickly did the thread and needle magic, had my bath, wore a strong and attractive cologne, wore my best shoe and started to class.
The bike I entered was trying to ruin my day but God was able to fight for me. I came down from the bike and guess what? I was getting looks from chicks and virtually everyone I walked past. My mind was telling me I looked too cute. I felt on top of the world, there is no way Chinenye would refuse my charm today. Luckily, I got to class and found my crush sitting two seats to the front, close to the window. Oh, perfect spot!
The few people I met at class gave me the same look, some giggled and others laughed. Ok hold on, what is going on? I am too cute or what?
Anyway I ignored and sat with my crush.
"Hey Chinenye"
Surprisingly she was nice and we talked till the lecturer came to spoil everything with his boring lessons. The lecture was too boring that my fellow coursemates began to opt out of the class. I felt the need to do same when my crush stepped out. It was my golden opportunity to chat more.
And then the worst happened.
"You, come here, come here"
It was Mr. Momoh usman aka Mr kool (the lecturer)
I stopped and faced him, the whole class were laughing already. Why were they laughing? It's not like I am the first person to step out of the class.
"This is Hnd 2 right?"
I wondered at his question.
"Yes sir"
"And let me guess, you are a big boy"
Of course I was, it was obvious so why the funny questions.
"Of course sir"
The class roared with laughter again.
"Turn around then"
I obeyed.
"Then why is your trousers torn to the extent it's exposing your boxers?"
Jesus Christ! Holy spirit of God! Blood of Jesus! Somebody shoot me! Oh God grant me teleportation powers!
I felt the need to melt to ice, the whole class roared with laughter, serious laughter.
Ok hold on, (crying now) put yourself in my shoes... How would you feel? even my crush hurried to see what was going on, Instantly I was finding it difficult to breathe, even words were not surfacing. I broke out in hot sweat.
"Go home and change this trousers now, nonsense"
It took me another 2minutes to move my legs, my crush did not even look at me twice. This was a stigma that didn't wear off for a long time.
Now tell me is there any worst embarrassing moment like mine?
Remember you promised not to laugh!