Loneliness is a necessary point in life and it's better not to avoid it because the treasures of our souls are hidden in it. Only with it we can sail deep into our own oceans. If we do not avoid it and we dare to live it, we can get to know ourselves better and create new versions of ourselves as well.
With it (loneliness) we learn that if someone leaves us the world will not end, that if those whom I love aren't around I can also be happy. We learn that mourning must be lived in order to return to be happy, and in conclusion no seasons of life must be skipped.
Being alone and learning to be alone is divine, it leads us to our center and brings us closer to God. There, alone, we can meet up with the Higher.
If we have walked alone enough time it has surely helped us to connect with nature and with our emotions. We have learned thus to listen to ourselves pretty well, we know what is happening to us, and for many reasons we feel the superheroes of our own story: the masters of the world, with a lot of independence, able to do everything we set out, and go everywhere in the world that we want to go. And all this is wonderful.
What we do wrong many of those whom sailed in solitude fearless and have learn all that loneliness has to teach us, is to stay in it as a constant state, unnecessarily, and not to let people into our lives, or we let them in and later on we throw them away.
Or without realizing it we do everything for them to leave us alone again. Sometimes we have become hermits, so when someone comes to our center, to our soft underbelly, we no longer know how to let them in and be still "myself" when I'm with you.
We no longer know how to do that.
That is when we have overrated loneliness and perennially want to stay in that state which is no needed, but we do it maybe because we do not realize it, perhaps for protection, or perhaps it's a conscious choice.
The greatest danger is that eventually loneliness adapts a new form, that of isolation.
If our work is creative, someone sold us the idea that we should isolate ourselves in order to create. If someone cheated on us in the past we think that having no relationship is the solution to that pain that still resides in our hearts, or worse, when a new person comes into our lives we do unconsciously all we have to do for that relationship to don't work out, but we don't even know that we are doing it.
What we do thousand of times is to try to isolate ourselves, it's trying to cohabit with our Loneliness just the two of us, because in the end we have learned that in being alone there is Security.
Loneliness is a wonderful place to reconnect with one-self and, from that fullness, to invite people into our lives space.
It is not better or worse, but I recognize that is a necessary part in the human being experience the connection and communion with Other human beings and with Nature, with God and with ourselves.
If one of these parties is missing we feel incomplete. If we have tried to annihilate any of the parties maybe you're reading me now recognizing that what you have done it as well. As I have too, and because I have discovered myself doing it I'm writing this post today.
Acknowledging that wanting to be alone is always an act of cowardice is an important step. And it is cowardice because interpersonal relationships of any kind require leaving the comfort zone, require a large dose of love, of perseverance, of putting yourself in another's shoes, to assume the other as my mirror when something I do not like. It is to understand that relationships are a way to heal ourselves through that reflection of mine that my friend, my mother, my partner, my boss, my colleague is showing me.
It is to recognize that I will not always be right and that I'm going to be wrong. It is Growth. It's another type of growth different from loneliness's.
And at the end of the day it is to learn all of this while enjoying life off next to the people that we love and that matter to us.
Not surprisingly the results of the study conducted by Harvard University for 75 years, recently revealed, showed that people who live longer and healthier are those who have had quality interpersonal relationships, connection and appreciation throughout life.
We are beings of connection and love, let's not forget it.
We do not isolate ourselves, let's instead reconnect.
Mindi