Many of us have the habit of judging things, people, ideas and activities all the time. Jumping to conclusions instantly, having our mind made up about something even before hearing the facts and concluding something based on our preconception and past experiences are a few things that we do because of our judgmental nature. Judgments are usually imbedded so deeply in our subconscious mind that we don’t realize this habit easily.
While being opinionated is fine and often quite healthy, being judgmental of things without getting a complete overview of them and without perceiving them for what they are often makes us nurture unhealthy emotions, feelings and attitudes. For instance, if you went through a big argument with a friend a few weeks back and you didn’t like the way he snubbed you, you’re likely to disagree with him on every other thing even if deep down you have the same viewpoint. Similarly, if you heard someone say broccoli doesn’t taste good and you have never tried it, you may not ever try it especially if you trust that person’s judgment.
Being Judgmental of Everything Keeps You from Living Life to its Fullest
Being judgmental of things and seeing things from a biased viewpoint often keeps us from living life fully, being open to new experiences and keeps us from nurturing a neutral, more accepting and unbiased state of mind.
When you’re judgmental of the different experiences you go through and encounters you have with your loved ones, you often start holding resentments and grudges. Instead of letting go of what has been done and being more accepting and forgiving of others, you keep holding on to the past. If you keep holding on to painful memories for long, you keep increasing your stress levels which if not taken care of on time can turn into bigger problems like anxiety and depression.
Moreover, you never try new things and experiment when you’re judgmental. For a long time, I believed I’d never like bitter gourd. It’s a vegetable with a bitter taste and goes by different names in different places such as bitter melon and bitter squash. In my mother tongue which is Urdu, it is known as ‘karela.’ I heard it has a bitter taste and that made me think I’d never enjoy that veggie. A few weeks back, I happened to be in a social gathering where one of my aunts had cooked a meal using bittergourd. I was very skeptical of it at first but after being pressurized by my elders, I gave it a try and honestly, I loved it. I analyzed that experience later that night and understood one of the many benefits of being nonjudgmental.
A few months back, I had the habit of being skeptical of every suggestion my husband offered me. If he advised me to try something new or use different strategies to get more clients, I used to feel as if he was trying to label me as ‘stupid’ or ‘incompetent.’ Instead of perceiving his advices for what they were- mere advices targeted towards my growth, I perceived them judgmentally. This did nothing, but made me nurture a negative mindset towards him and strained my relationship with him.
When I came across the concept of being mindful of the moment and accepting and living every moment and all that happens within it nonjudgmentally, I became aware of my unhealthy attitude. From then onwards, I started making conscious efforts to be more accepting of things the way they were and be more nonjudgmental of everything that happened to me and around me. My attitude towards my husband’s advice softened too and instead of labeling it as ‘unhealthy criticism’, I started to take it seriously and honestly began benefitting from it too.
As I became more nonjudgmental, I became aware of its many benefits and started to become more nonjudgmental in each and every aspect of my life.When I say, be nonjudgmental, I don’t mean you should stop having viewpoints and shouldn’t believe strongly in certain things. All I mean is that you should be more open towards different ideas, perspectives and situations. If something doesn’t work for you, don’t label it as ‘bad’; instead, say ‘It didn’t work well for me but it may do wonders for you.’ If you disagree with someone, don’t label their viewpoint as ‘stupid’ or don’t think they know less than you; instead, accept their opinion as their belief and something they acquired from their experiences in life. Moreover, analyze their viewpoint later on and look deeply into it. Assess different aspects of it and research extensively on it. If you analyze it nonjudgmentally, you may end up believing it yourself.
Being nonjudgmental of everything around you and even your own feelings helps you accept things and improve at things you don’t like without attaching any sort of negativity to them because when you associate unnecessary meaning to things that’s when you start bringing misery to yourself.
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