"Unfortunately, we were unable to act swiftly enough to set up a new agency with a similar mandate to that of UNRWA."
New York, October 3 - Delegates to the world's largest international organization working toward cooperation among states voiced disappointment today that they missed the opportunity to duplicate the success they have enjoyed for seven decades with Palestine Refugees - keeping them stateless, in limbo, and nurturing violent hate for Israel and Jews - by creating a new organization to accomplish the same with the Venezuelan migrants flown into a posh Massachusetts resort island last month.
Representatives of various countries at the United Nations lamented the fact that they could have established, but neglected to establish, an agency to parallel the UNRWA, the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees, which would keep the 48 migrants that Massachusetts deported from Martha's Vineyard without citizenship and in perpetual dependence until the international community finds an equitable solution for them involving the dissolution of the United States and "restoration" of the migrants to the island permanently.
"We missed the boat on this one," acknowledged Deputy Ambassador Iri Dentiszt of Slovakia. "It's not every year you get the opportunity to replicate one of this organization's most lasting achievements. Since UNRWA was established in 1950, the Palestine Refugee population has increased from maybe a few hundred thousand to, by some estimates, more than ten million. That's ten million people in perpetual political limbo, encouraged and educated to believe they will undo the establishment of Israel in 1948 and never moving on or developing any real political future for themselves."
"The Palestine Refugee is one of the great inventions of our era," agreed former UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon. "The standard definition of 'refugee' in international law and UN terminology falls under the care of the UN High Commissioner for Refugees, whose organization makes sure to resettle every single displaced person in some new, secure country, with citizenship and all that entails. But UNRWA's job is exactly the opposite, which is why all their literature says 'Palestine Refugee' instead of 'refugee' - it's a semantic ploy to get the casual person not to realize we're not talking about people who have nowhere to go, but people whom Arab states have not allowed in as citizens, and prefer to keep those people and their own citizens resentful and focused on the Jews instead of the incompetence, corruption, and oppression at home. Unfortunately, we were unable to act swiftly enough to set up a new agency with a similar mandate to that of UNRWA, but this time focused on Martha's Vineyard Refugees."
Representatives of several Arab states insisted there remains time to establish such an agency, but Palestinian delegates questioned the wisdom of allowing anyone else the privileges and attention their people alone enjoy.