In Allen Carr’s Easy Way To Quit Smoking, he describes a situation where a recent former smoker has a thought: “I want a cigarette.” Carr informs us that, even though we might literally have the thought telling us we want a cigarette, that doesn’t mean we actually want a cigarette.
It’s similar with many fleeting desires that surge in our bellies and heads. We get the whim to go to the fridge and stare to see what there is to eat, even though we’re not particularly hungry. We feel a sexual urge, even though we do not wish to procreate. While that urge’s fulfillment may give us satisfaction for a moment, it is unlikely to grant us happiness.
On the contrary, a life spent chasing whims is commonly a depressed one, and a lonely one.
Many desires are like these urges - mere caprices. Though they present themselves as very important and urgent, they normally are very different from our souls’ dearest wishes. Finding those requires a lot more patience and looking within.
When we do have a whim like this, it presents us a chance to find out more about who we really are. Watching the thought and the desire within us, we might quickly find that, however much it demands, it is not in control.