Sing, Muse, of that famous day, March 11th, 2005,
Which will ne’er be forgot whilst poets be alive,
When one brave man, acting all alone,
Took stand against the iniquities of the terrible mobile phone.
It was in court hearing in the City of Niagra Falls,
When somebody’s mobile phone took one too many call.
And did the moment pass, like on many another day? No!
Because the court was the court of Robert M. Restaino.
“Everyone is going to jail,” bellowed the fearless judge,
And because of his authority, from that position he would not budge.
“Every single person is going to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument now!”
But his anger and his majesty did not make them cow.
Then before his mighty bench he made them one by one to quail,
And then, one by one, he sent them off to jail.
And did he stop to think what the state commission might say? No!
Not the mighty judge, Robert M. Restaino.
All 46 defendants, in cases of domestic violence,
Yielded not up the phone in a conspiracy of silence.
So the police called in extra officers to deal with all the cases
And those that could not post bail were put in iron leg-braces.
That was the famous day, March 11th, 2005,
Which will ne’er be forgot whilst poets be alive.
But in the afternoon he relented and let them go,
That mild-mannered judge, Robert M. Restaino.
But then the state commission did meet and did glower
And for “an egregious and unprecedented abuse of judicial power”
The poor judge has now lost his annual $114,000 pay, O!
Poets salute the now unemployed Robert M. Restaino.
Original poetry, written in homage to the great William McGonagall.
