There are bad parents and also terrible children. That's why it's always a good idea to make a personal assessment about who we are as children and as parents.
The invisible burden of parenting ...
I am a mother of three and, when we talk about raising and exercising the role of mother and father, there are no saints or demons, only realities.
And that dose of reality often falls on a mother who is giving everything on a thousand fronts, and a father who is looking for the sustenance of the home.
In the end, the truth is that most of the time women carry a double burden, and that's when loneliness and emotional chaos fundamentally arrive.
Surely many mothers who read me today feel this way.
Having a child always gives you the opportunity to perpetuate yourself, improve yourself or see the worst version of yourself in another. You decide how you want to see yourself through your children.
You are not a bad mother for loving you, and much less for exercising your different roles as a woman, being a mother, or a man being a father.
How many of you have had this thought? “I feel guilty for wanting to go back to work. What if that makes me a bad mom?"The real truth is that guilt drowns them, it's not motherhood itself.
Fundamentally because many were taught that being a mother is to give up everything... even to be yourself. And no, it's not like that. And you know what? Being a mother is not being a martyr. It's being human and this applies to parents as well.
It's learning to be divided without getting lost.
Years ago, after becoming a mother, I discovered that motherhood, although very demanding, is also about supporting children without letting go of their own dreams, those things that also make you happy and fill you up, and it has nothing to do with parenting.
In fact, I am totally convinced that a mother who knows herself as a woman, a wife, a professional, understands that all these elements define her, and not just motherhood.
It is clear to me that we do not have to comply with a perfect script. Definitely not. You don't have to fit into what others expect and you don't have to fulfill on foot with what other mothers did before you. All you have to do is be you, without asking for permission.
And if you have to set limits to your own mother and your aunts, or to your best friends who are already mothers and want to impose on you how to be a mother, talk about it, be assertive and tell them that you want to live your experience with a new script, free of mandates with which you disagree.
Solution? Be a protagonist and exercise your decision-making power in that sense is to transcend, I did it that way and I continue to act it, nothing compares to me in the lives of my daughters who are building their own daily script with their children (my grandchildren).
There is no way you came into this world to cancel yourself out for a role. Being a mother is not a condemnation, it is a choice that should not be taken away from you. Because living yourself complete leads you to be happy and a happy mother, without a doubt, loves and raises her children better.
In fact... We learn to connect with our children.
I never forget "my newly born Body", even when the years have passed, I always keep in mind that my body is sacred territory of what was the shelter of them, my three children, in my womb. ✨
Parenting with connection with our children is to reconnect better and prevent the walls of indifference, fear and rejection from getting between your children and you, mothers or fathers.
On the cover, I look at my 87-year-old mother my example, my love 🙏 thank you for sheltering me since I was in your womb.
Janitze 🌹
Separator made with Canva by
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL