Saying a grounded "no" means ...

Set healthy boundaries from self-esteem. Because saying "yes" to avoid problems is the problem.

Look, saying 'no' is not selfishness, it is often survival. Let's stop pleasing others, at the cost of our peace!

That's why I don't like everyone, because that word doesn't, how much power it has and many people don't like 👍.

It seems like a lie, but when I set limits they call me "conflictive" or that I am a problematic person, and this has been told to me by the same people who before I set the limits took advantage when I did not set them.

How many times have we given in just so that the other doesn't get upset?

Uffff thousands of times, and when we are like this, our peace is worth less than the comfort of others.

Putting up with the consequences of a yes that I don't want to give so that the other person is happy is not empathy, it's surrender, and this is not me... No!!! that's it, definitely NOT.

And giving up at the expense of oneself is the perfect recipe for resentment, guilt and emotional discomfort, for "avoiding friction" with others, or worse, for fear that "they will stop loving me" or point at me. Look, no, I don't accept this.

So let's stop eating that cowboy tale, and let's not negotiate our dignity and our self-love. Also, by no means does a "no" ever need justification or apology. The one who loves me well, understands. And the one who doesn't... let him do therapy and at least stay out of my way...

Well...

It's never too late to wake up, because that's definitely not how you can live. The fundamental thing is healthy discernment, so that the NO is not on automatic pilot, but conscious, and doing it that way frees us, frees us from self-questioning.

Nothing is better, than to walk through life, without the weight of guilt for bad decisions... Saying "no" in this way is self-care!. It's about learning the lesson without going back. Don't let that stop us.

These are my limits, because if the "yes" is going to make me uncomfortable, then it's better to say NO. And this must be done without hesitation, the first times it costs to do it, I say this from my experience, and later one understands the benefit of setting healthy limits... And I do this and I act without caring if they call me inflexible.

Sometimes, out of love for others, we stop loving ourselves. And no, the thing is not like that.

We live in a society where being authentic makes us ”too honest“, expressing our emotions, those that make us ”sensitive“, where defending our rights makes us ”conflictive“ and prioritizing our well-being makes us ”selfish". But why should we apologize for being ourselves? Why should we hide our emotions to fit into a mold of ”normalcy"?. It's time to stop apologizing for being ourselves and start celebrating our individuality.

What do we gain from that?
Manage stress better, improve our relationships and make better decisions.

Watch out! Taking a distance, and saying NO, is not giving up, it is an intelligent strategy that allows us to recharge our energies and see things from a new perspective. It's an absolutely liberating experience. Do you agree with me? I read you.

Janitze 🦋