So as not to betray yourself...

Sometimes it's time to disappoint those you love the most...

The truth is that many of us grew up trying to be what our parents wanted. Not because they were bad, but because they also dragged their own fears, their own rolls, those "shoulds" that they inherited from their parents.

And many of us got here, living dreams that weren't ours, keeping quiet about pains we didn't understand, smiling so as not to disturb.

When we take on the role of parents, it's up to us to open our eyes and really start changing our mindset. Why?

Because it is essential to understand that a child does not come to meet our expectations. He comes to build his own path, with his successes, his mistakes and his truths. We don't breed to be obeyed. We breed so that they can be their best version as people.

Many times we want to protect, guide, spare them pain... but also, unintentionally, we can turn off his voice. A child who learns to be true to himself, even if the world tells him otherwise, is a child who will truly be free, without dragging the emotional weight that caused you pain when you were raised.

Sometimes our parents don't even know what to do with their own lives and carry with them traumatic wounds and frustrations, I understood a long time ago that making my decisions is the best thing, even if it has consequences.

As adults we have to review what our parents gave us in parenting to keep the best, and from there, make our own way, especially if we are or are going to be parents.

What I don't share is the judgment towards them.

We just need to understand and put our heads down. There are good parents and bad parents too. The same goes for children. That is why it is essential to assume the role of parents to raise with connection, accompany and guide them with love, and firmness without imposing; this reflection of which I am talking is fundamental to understand.

Even before becoming a parent, you learn that you have to follow your own path. Many people discover it late, or even worse, they live their whole life tied to what "my mom or dad" says or said. Understanding this hurts, but it's healing. We can always learn to be better parents.

Sometimes our parents don't always know what's best for us. It is enough to start by acknowledging our mistakes.

Because there is no manual to know everything, but sometimes we learn with our children, it is a path that is worth saying: learning with children. "it never ends."

Children learn more from our mistakes than from the image of perfection. I know we want to give the impression that we are in control more times than we really are.

Do you know why? Because we think that's how we lose authority…

But, the worst way to lose authority and respect is to try to cover the sun with a finger. Even if our children come to believe that we are perfect deep down, they will feel oppressed by an ideal that they will not be able to achieve instead of feeling inspired to be better.

On the cover 2 beloved grandchildren

With love,

Janitze 🦋