Self-acceptance and acceptance of the situation in general has sometimes become too worn out. "Get yourself," people tell you. "Accept it, it's like that," women sometimes say about their partners. Acceptance of the situation has sometimes become synonymous with too little concession. Getting the situation is sometimes recommended for situations that should not be accepted. Self-acceptance is sometimes an inexperienced effort to change.
But I want to write today about good self-acceptance . Not self-acceptance that comes too quickly - but a self-acceptance that comes from a lack of choice and after significant efforts to change, which came to naught.
Today I want to write about self-acceptance that brings a great sigh of relief.
The sigh of relief comes out of our mouth after we stop trying to fix things that can not be corrected. The sigh of relief comes because we have the energy to move toward what is important to us. The sigh of relief comes because accepting ourselves has given us a chance to rest from unfulfilled repair efforts. After we feel that almost everything we did before, to correct the situation - did not help. After we feel that we have just dug in the sand with the wheels of our car, as happens when you press on the pedals and only hear the roar of the engine and the sinking of your vehicle in quicksand.
Do you remember that you experienced such a meaningful experience of self-acceptance in your life? When you got yourself, then suddenly there was room for other things? When self-acceptance brought great relief, rest, and even pleasure?
I remember myself at certain points in my life accepting myself. It was a good experience.
What would you like to get yourself now? What would have allowed you to live an easier life, a less frustrating life?
And a brief reminder: There is a method of psychological therapy called ACT , Acceptance Commitment Therapy. According to this psychological treatment method, the person first accepts what happens to him, and especially his emotional state and thoughts. He accepts his problems and watches them, observing that she is objective, on the side. For example, he observes his obsessive thoughts, or his depression, or his grief. But at the same time, he also commits to work for the important goals of his life. During psychological therapy, he investigates the important goals of his life and begins to act accordingly. While suffering from the problems he has received, he works to promote what is important to him, what is meaningful to him. The results of this method of psychological therapy are good, and not by chance: this method requires a person not to be obsessed with solving his difficult problems, and leads him to focus on positive and emotional goals. In this sense, psychological therapy guides a person to act according to the Tao philosophy, which says - Know the world before you about its limitations. Do not try to conquer the invincible, but go for the river - wherever possible. And of course, That your problem might be solved-perhaps because you put it aside. Because you did not pressure her to be solved. And maybe it will not be solved. Maybe it will last, but you can live with it better.
I have now written about self-acceptance and the sense of freedom and great relief it brings.
But self-acceptance is not just freedom and relief. Self-acceptance, as it is, requires acceptance. And it is not easy to accept. It is not easy to get emotional pain. It is not easy to accept the limitations of our character. It is not easy to get our weight. It is not easy to accept the career limitations we are able to reach. And it is certainly not easy to accept the limitations of our marriage. Accepting the limitations demands that we continue to live with the harsh, disturbing and painful, acceptance demands that we give up hope that in the near future we will be able to change the situation. It is not easy to live with limitations. Accepting the situation means being prepared to live in an imperfect state, and admitting imperfection. Try to achieve other goals even though we are defective, patients, not mentally perfect, not perfect family. Just not perfect.
But, as I wrote at the beginning, there is also great relief.
Free space.
Now it is possible to rest a little of the great effort we invested in trying to fix the situation, efforts that exhausted us. And after a little rest, we will begin to fill with a new energy toward what is possible. What can be achieved, conquest and joy.
There is nothing to expect.