I unravel at the edges. Listens with the heart.
Oh he's just going to put things in the car and come back to give me a kiss. Good morning, just me again in my pajamas on a folded blanket in two, trying to put an end to the limits of my body. I'm just writing. Instead open your computer and start working. It's because of this cold in the mornings that I have no strength for. I once loved winter so much and now simply - I do not have the strength for it. The thick stockings, sweaters hanging from the sling in the bedroom, ruin the pleasant airiness with such dark, clumsy air. To be in motion or to die suffocating in the air conditioner, a lot of laundry and no longer going outside. This begins. Hot chocolate, chocolate, soups, carbs, cucumber peels stuck to the marble indicate that I have tried. It will be cold for months now and I will smile forcefully and I will gladly grind my teeth and wrap myself in false laughter and cook full of warm things that will heat up my heart and stomach.
And then it will pass because everything passes and will be fine and how I am a heroine, a champion and beautiful and good that it just astounds me too. All bad thoughts will wait.