You gotta laugh, well take turns at least.
The best I can ever feel is not so much when I'm winning, (luckily) as when I am simply....well feeling.
Now the tricky thing with our language is we don't distinguish between feeling and "feelings".
Feeling - is sensing - hearing, seeing, touching, tasting, smelling, (some count a sixth sense, but that is possibly the overall understanding that arises from actually being present for more than a few seconds).
Feelings/Emotions. Emotions are a chemical, electrical phenomenon that contain some degree of tension in our body. Emotions based in contraction or reaction that are not flowing with the current reality are said to be negative. Probably because they feel like crap and upset all involved.
Feelings/emotions that are based in resonance,(sensitivity to current moment) or going with the flow gracefully, feel pretty damn good, probably because they up-lift or at worst, allow all involved to go about their business.
When looked at like this we can see that so called positive emotions are more like actual sensing's
So what is going on with "Negative Feelings" and can we ditch them?
Now this is where it gets kind of hysterical.
A negative emotion is the experience of our biology not being allowed to flow.
How do we prevent our biology from riding the waves of reality?
We need to give it an alternative to respond to.
So if only reality is accessible through our senses, where would we find an alternative to reality? - why yes in our minds.
Our minds are a storage device, we keep lots of stories in there, so that we can pull one out whenever we don't like what is happening or want to "improve" it.
Bullwinkle - "Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my arse!"
Rocky - "Oh that ole trick never works"
Exactly - our stories never work, so why do we keep pushing them on each other?
Is it because we mistake inflammation for real abundance. (Swelling for Swell)
Is it because we mistake distraction from fear and short term pleasures for a more deeply embodied peace and joy?
Crumbs look great when your starving... anyone who can stay with presence for more than a month gets a whole religion named after them lol..
anyway...back on track
We like peace, we like joy, we like resonance, we even like presence.
We like harmony, we like getting along with others, and we love it when we line up and surf with the waves in nature.
So why do we end up back in resistance, back in stories, back in mind, back in conflict and tension?
Why do we concrete over the best land and swap out the animals for bird-seed? (real nourishing ancient regenerative self sustaining food systems for oxidative stress and diabetes controlled by those with energy and ownership)
Is it because we are control addicts?
Ironically its because our biology knows it can not stay in fear mode and live long
So we use a bunch of proven strategies to change our emotional state, (pleasure is usually first choice, but pain also works)
The fastest way back to flow is to let go, let go of what?
Let go of thinking we know better, let go of thinking full stop.
Presence is the experience of reality as it is, minus the meanings.
Minus the strategies, minus the control that arises from fear.
Fear of missing out, fear of being included, fear of not being loved, noticed, valued, respected, accepted, paid or obeyed
Oh so thats it! great I will remember that! thank you!
ha ha ha
Wont work...
The moment I make presence a "strategy" to feel good or increase my senses of value - I have left the realm of NOW and made presence into an "it", into a mental concept that is somehow not present now.
The moment I make it not ok to feel whatever I am experiencing right now, ( no matter what it is) - unconditionally.
I am choosing a "conditionality" and the need to control.
Basically I am choosing addiction, reactivity, mind and all the conflict that arises from comparing NOW, to how it could, should, would be.
Now if you still believe in acquiring knowledge, positive thinking and discipline - great, knock yourself out.
Have fun fighting nature.. I am.
A little thinking, a little control, just a tweak here and there, wham I am back out of flow, back into tension again.
Thats the game most of us are playing...
play nicely, the mind is a very tricky place,
Now the Body, thats where all the action is
=8-P