This shit is easy and fast, just like your mom. I know you’re thinking “what’s this bitch babbling about? I know how to make s’mores!” Well yes, I’m sure you do know how… but I’m writing this anyway so fucking put your big girl panties on and deal with it.
Graham Crackers - like I have to explain this. Any kind will work! As long as they are crunchy. Even if they aren’t, you’ll make it work in a desperate pinch. I got faith in you. You got this!
Marshmallows – The big ones, or really whatever. They make sweet square flat “smores” marshmallows, however I would like to point out you cannot split one of those in half like a big marshmallow and make it look like boobs. So you know, think it through. Weigh your options. Priorities people!
Peanut Butter Cups – Oh snap! Didn’t see that coming did you? Watch your back with me! Because I’m watching yours. Who was that peeking in your window? Not me… move along now.
Place your graham crackers on a plate. I don’t have time to start a fire and all that bullshit. I want smores and I want them fucking yesterday so we need to move with a sense of urgency people!
If you roll like me unwrap those peanut butter cups and set them to the side. Perhaps unwrap and extra and pop it in your mouth. You’ve made it this far champ, you have earned a reward!
Take a marshmallow and tear in two, place sticky side down on graham cracker. See what I meant about boobs? Yeah boy!!! Touch em… go ahead, soft right? Mmmmm… yes… Fucking perv.
Place in microwave. This is where shit can get tricky. You let them go too long and you’ve got hard little puck marshmallow boobs, like bad implants. NO BUENO!
So fucking pay attention. It will take about 15-20 seconds. Watch them! When they start to look like they are inflating stop the microwave.
Grab your peanut butter cups and gently place them on the warm pillowy goodness. Make it quick though, you want their warmth to melt the peanut butter cup so it runs down your cheek just like the time you did that thing with that dude. You know what I’m talking bout… wink wink. ;)
Moving on. Grab another graham cracker and place on top of the peanut butter cup. Do I really need to explain this to you? Are you that fucking high? Good on you. I’ve got your back.
Let me know how your first time was in the comments below... wink wink ;-)