"We also have a mediocre-at-best kiddush."
Jerusalem, August 28 - A house of worship desperate for bolstered regular attendance aims to attain that goal through policies such as asking people to remove kids who make noise, providing no space for kids to make noise outside the sanctuary, and making no effort to put together programming for kids to enable their parents to participate in services, a board member announced today.
Congregation Az Yashir in Nachlaot struggles each Saturday morning to complete its quorum of ten men, and its leadership has decided to attract new families by making it almost impossible for families to feel comfortable or welcome there, disclosed Yisrael Sheiner.
"Decorum is a high priority for us," he explained. "The dignity of the service cannot be compromised. We're looking to attract like-minded worshipers who respect the service and respect the venue. Anyone who feels comfortable leaving their wife with the children and thus making the women feel that they do not belong in the synagogue, will surely join us."
"We have a mediocre-at-best kiddush after services," he added, referring to an array of soft drinks, crackers, hummus, Turkish salad, and cut veggies, which the Friday night announcements tout as if it sets Az Yashir apart from any other synagogue within walking distance.
The historic, picturesque Nachlaot neighborhood in the center of the city boasts dozens of synagogues, with some exuberant tour guides touting the figure one hundred, though rarely, if ever, have they numbered more than sixty active at one time. Groups from Jewish communities from all over the Levant, Middle East, and North Africa migrated wholesale to the neighborhood over the last 150 years, each group establishing its own synagogue. As the twentieth century drew to a close, and the old-time population died out or moved away, the newer, non-Mizrahi residents began forming synagogues of their own, Az Yashir among them.
But real estate prices in Nachlaot have ballooned, preventing young families from staying in the neighborhood and shrinking the pool of stable, long-term attendees. The remaining families of the target demographic in the area have gravitated to synagogues with less insistence on silence and with actual programming for children or, at the very least, with a nearby space where children can play, run, and make noise without disrupting the services.
Az Yashir's board has accordingly decided to differentiate itself from those other, lesser synagogues. "The right people will come to us," insisted another board member. "Not only is our atmosphere unique, we also extend the services far beyond the length any reasonable attendee can be expected to tolerate, even on summer Friday nights when it ends after nine p.m. and everyone's exhausted."
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