Dear Chad F.,
We were both distressed and saddened to hear of your sudden and untimely departure from our employ! Thank you so much for your time! It is unfortunate you decided to leave just prior to your 1 month review and we thought we'd go ahead and provide our feedback anyway. We feel it will be especially important to a culinary professional such as yourself especially since you are soon to be seeking gainful employment at another fine establishment and you will no doubt wish to incorporate the best-practices you learned during your 3 week tenure with us.
In your 3-part resignation delivered by SMS text message delivered no fewer than 6 hours after you walked out of our kitchen during our lunch rush, you mentioned your extreme distress regarding one of our other employees who you feel has been "literally been physically pushing you around" in the kitchen. You went further to point out that a well-running kitchen depends on team-work and that her pushing you around (literally) isn't representative of that most needed quality in a commercial kitchen.
You are absolutely correct! Such behavior is most definitely not an example of good teamwork especially when a 5 ft tall woman weighing-in at 115 lbs is pushing around a 6 ft tall man weighing in at about 230 or 240! That's really poor team work!
At the same time, I would be remiss if I didn't inform you of our own observations regarding your contribution to the team. Let me just enumerate them for you:
Multiple late arrivals to work.
At least one shift when you were so bleary-eyed you could barely see in front of you.
Approximately 3 breaks for every .5 taken by your co-workers.
Constant use of your cell-phone when Chef leaves the line.
Frequent reminders to all of us that you have carpal tunnel syndrome and that it's difficult for you to... cook.
At least one extra meal for every free meal we provided as per our '1 free meal per shift' policy. (One of these is documented with video which I have saved in case you wish to contest the assertion... Interestingly I noticed none of the expected symptoms of carpal tunnel while you were making short-work of the papaya salad you didn't pay for yesterday).
Muttering during the close making it clear to all who are listening that your "grlfrndisotsidewaitng..."
We hope this short list of items will be taken in the spirit it is intended and will be used to further what I'm sure will be an exciting career in the food service industry! In case it is not taken that way, please try not to punch me in the face as I sit across this table from you and make you listen to this prior to handing you your final paycheck.
Thanks!
David - Owner