Dear Customer Who Was But No Longer Is No Longer Stuck In Our Bathroom,
So how's it going? Are you glad to be free? We know we are glad for you! You may not know it (or even care) but this has been a crazy day all around! Don't believe me? Please feel free to read my previous letter to another unhappy customer from earlier today...
It seems, when we posted the sign indicating customers should knock because our lock was not locking properly that we didn't anticipate the opposite effect might occur, and it is for this oversight (and any wood chips that may have gotten on you) for which we WHOLEHEARTEDLY APOLOGIZE!
You see, we thought (erroneously as it turns out, but then hey... since when isn't hindsight 20/20?) that the fact that the door wasn't locking would only mean that one customer or employee might inadvertently walk in on another while said other was "indisposed" as it were. We might call it...
... hineysight?
And so, we put the sign on the door as a way to mitigate this minor risk until such time as I could find a suitable replacement for the faulty door-knob assembly.
How could you or we have known that the door would suddenly start auto-locking and permanently at that!?
I hope you weren't too scared as we searched for a solution.
I felt pretty calm at first because my best MacGyver was hard at work on the knob when I came out to take a look. It started getting a little weird for me when he wasn't able to immediately open the door using only a sushi knife and a piece of basil leaf and I started sweating when he was called away to prepare some sushi and I began to realize that the only way we were going to get you out was to cut the faulty knob with the only other tools we had on hand at the moment - a screw driver and a hammer and the raw power of will that goes along with being a Thai Food and Sushi restaurant owner.
I nearly started to panic as I thought about you, huddled in a far corner of the restroom ("Ma'am... I'm going to need you to STEP AWAY FROM THE DOOR NOW") as I hacked and jabbed and hammered and whacked away at the Formica and wood that comprises the door until I was finally able to knock out the barrel and force the stubborn barrier inward with a hardy "ONE TWO THREE IT'S THE VIKING'S LIFE FOR ME!" push!
And now you are out. Do you look at life differently after your brief but troubling incarceration? Will you eat here again? Are you going to bring your own tools next time?
Sincerely,
David - Owner