I wrote something about trying to win arguments last month and was overwhelmed by the response that I received, so I thought I should go a step further and explain the best and the easiest strategy that we can use to make a difference in the way people perceive or respond to us. Read it here (https://steemit.com/self-help/@moneymagnet08/trying-to-win-an-argument) if you haven’t already.
I combined what I know from personal experience and bits and pieces from various books I read but the main inspiration came from Dale Carnegie’s ‘how to make friends and influence people’. I would highly recommend the book it is so simple yet so effective.
So, Dale Carnegie proposes that everyone should use the Socratic method. What is the Socratic Method?
So, a lot of you might agree that people have opinions just to have opinions most people will have the same perspective as you, but their reasons of having that perspective might differ and when people are told they are wrong all they would want to tell you is that you are wrong. So why not tell them they are right. Why not say things that they agree with, if they start saying “Yes, yes” they are more likely to feel that you are their ally and not an enemy.
People who are like us are more likely to listen to us then people who are not. If we get the other person to saying “yes, yes” they are more then likely to agree to most of the things we say. So, finding common grounds will lead them to believe that we are with them.
Let me give you an example. Your kid wants to play outside in the cold and is not willing to wear the warm clothes. What will the reaction of an average parent be, “Come on Billy, wear your jacket otherwise you are not going out.” How will Billy respond he will fret and probably call you a jerk. Tensions will rise, and no one will get anything out of it.
Now if you use the Socrates Method, you will get Billy saying “yes”. So that conversation would entail asking Billy questions. “Does Billy love Mommy”. Billy if he is your kid is more than likely to say yes, then you can ask some other question like Billy wants to go out and Billy is Billy a good boy and stuff like that. Billy will listen to you and is in state now where he is more than likely to say yes to most of the things you say. So, you can end the discussion like well mommy loves Billy and doesn’t want him to get sick so please wear your sweater and it is highly likely Billy will give in.
It is Imperative that we tread slowly and with humility because the things that are rare are most frequently the most valuable.