Personal development has become big business - a billion dollar industry. Millions of us have poured out our hard-earned dollars for dose after dose of motivation in hopes of effectively "helping" and "improving" ourselves.
Yet, the industry's become flooded with many charlatans, catering to our desires for quick fixes to our ails. Though much PD appears as though it's meant to "dig deep" and get to the roots where real transformation must occur, much of it has become akin to our society's obsession with pharmaceuticals - another huge money-maker selling people "solutions" to "problems" that have been defined as such to keep us hooked on a temporary alleviation of suffering caused by our lack of responsibility for our own health & well-being. It's much the same, except instead of popping pills to delegate our personal accountability and take comfort in the cultural conventions that we're "doing the right thing," we've read book after book and attended seminar after seminar, so we can feel good about "working on ourselves" and feed the illusion that we're "better" people, because we're "committed to personal growth." But as some of us have discovered after diving into the depths of the self-help world, much of what we've been told isn't all it's cut out to be - that our modern approach to personal growth has become a charade, overcomplicating the process of real development for the financial benefit of the industry, at the cost of our fear growth.
Yet for the most part, we've been given what we wanted - formulas for success and strategies for growth, without having to face the reality of the pain real growth involves. We've wanted a "feel-good" approach that stays in the positive, without having to delve too far into the dark side, the results without the struggle, the light without the dark. We've wanted inspiration, but only if it comes wrapped in a pretty package - motivation, but only if it makes us feel good. We haven't wanted to endure the intense growing pains to become who we're capable of becoming - and few in the PD industry have been 100% honest about what it really takes, instead crafting their marketing message according to what will sell best.
Our greatest growth cannot come from those we pay for knowledge - it comes from those whose presence in our lives forces us to confront every bit of discomfort that arises as we face the way we've limited ourselves and caused our own suffering. Some of our greatest growth doesn't come in books or seminars - it comes through heartbreak, betrayal, and disappointments. Our greatest breakthroughs can't come predictably with whipped cream & a cherry on top - they come following the agony of breakdowns in which our entire self-identities, assumptions about the true nature of our relationships, and views of the world are torn apart and demolished without our consent.
Our greatest steps in growth don't involve exercises in uncovering our limiting beliefs, but through the challenges of life to choose forgiveness and accept what is as it is - which requires being with the ugliness in our lives & the world, and shifting our views to see the perfection and beauty in everything we've wanted to "improve." Our greatest empowerment doesn't come through "improving ourselves," but exercising compassion with ourselves - loving ourselves unconditionally as we are, and from there, radiating our compassion outward - which requires us to find peace with all about ourselves and others we've resisted, condemned, struggled against, and stubbornly resolved to change.
Real growth doesn't revolve around goal-setting and achievement, preoccupying ourselves by being focused on an inspiring future - it entails diving fully into the hurt we've carried from our pasts, coming head-on to experience and transcend the torture of our greatest fears - transmuting the lead from our past to extract the lessons & wisdom and reveal the gold present here & now. Developing our consciousness doesn't have to do with "fixing" ourselves so we can be, do, and have more tomorrow; it's about coming to an awareness of the Divine order & perfection in everything, so e can experience a higher mental-emotional-spiritual quality of life here today - which isn't exclusive of the darker shades of human emotions, but entails being okay riding the waves of the best good AND the worst bad.
Too many of us have turned to personal development, self-help, and self-improvement in hopes of gaining control of our lives - lured in with the promise our flawed, powerless selves are justifiable so long as we follow some guru's recipe to attain total creative control over our lives. Yet, the truth is - what we're really after can only ever be attained through surrender - letting go of our need for control and all illusions that we're not good enough as we are. The truth is - there's far more we can't control in life than what we can, and much of it causes pain. The suffering only persists when we cling to the desire for things to be other than they are, including ourselves.
Real growth comes through our immersion in real life - exploring the depths of our complexity through our relationships' extremes & failures - not through classrooms and reading. We've bought map after map to find our paths to empowerment and higher consciousness - yet the path is the life journey we're already on. We've sold ourselves on believing the hype that there's a quick & easy route to empowered, inspired living - yet have only distracted ourselves with all the "self-work" from engaging fully in life, where our greatest opportunities for growth lie.
Let us not seek answers from authorities, should we want to change our lives - but rather let's exercise the courage to cultivate peace within ourselves first, and from there follow an inner guidance that has no financial interest in our chasing one-sided outcomes. Let's allow life to be our greatest teacher - not striving to escape pain, but dig for the gold of priceless knowledge within it's purposeful presence in the richness of life's emotional diversity. We don't need answers if we simply stop creating problems by resisting what is, nor do we need "qualified," "expert" teachers if we simply embrace EVERYONE and every situation in our life as a teacher with just the right lesson at just the right time.
Much good has come of the personal development boom, though much greater good is to come as we turn inwards to trust the authority of our own wisdom. Much wealth has been made selling us hope - though what immense wealth awaits to be uncovered as we put those timeless principles we've been learning into action, rather than chasing answers? What power lies within, if we only cease judging ourselves - learning to transmute our own dark energies instead of chasing the light? What treasure shall we find as cease looking elsewhere and open our eyes to what's both behind & right in front of us now?
written May 2011