I don’t have a 5-star Uber passenger rating, I’m still pretty pissed about that. A 5-star Uber rating is so glamorous, it holds weight on a resume, “past work experience?” ‘None, but I’ve maintained a 5-star Uber passenger rating since July, 2015.’ “Perfect! When can you start?” I don’t even have a 4.9 something, which is really like a 3.0 in internet land, I’m a 4.85! Can you believe that?! And that’s a step up from a month ago—4.83. I didn’t even know ratings went that low.
The direction of this article? Your guess is as good as mine. Several little mini rants maybe or, possibly just one or two long ones, rants, of course. Not a bad start, though, I like where this is headed. Here’s to a successful middle and everything else - “cling!” 4.85, though, can you believe that?! I think 4.81 is when they cancel your membership. If not, they should. You’re not even allowed to drive for Uber if your rating is below a 4.9, did you know that? Figured I’d tell you just to put my 4.85 into perspective—shameful. I take the bus everywhere so I don’t have to put my Uber profile up on anyone’s phone.
If you knowingly fathered a child and, not one time in your pathetic existence, did you do so much as exhale a breath of oxygen on your child, you’re worse than a maggot. Bet you didn’t know this article was going to say that, did you? Neither did I. Pura and I just got into some deep conversation during dinner, one of the things we talked about were maggots, that’s where this paragraph came from. To further elaborate on that, anyone who says, “nah, I wanted to, it was my ex who wouldn’t let me see him/her,” I say congratulations—you’re the same amount of maggot as all of the other maggots. You picked her, chew on that, you really know how to knock’em up, sir, says your kid.
I think a lot of parents became parents at such a young age, they forgot they have the ability to remember everything—everything. If they had a better comprehension of such a basic and simple realization and could grasp ‘what you see you retain,’ they’d practice being better human beings in front of their own kids—the next generation who won’t forget what they see/hear today. You remember the time your dad did that one thing or the time he called your mom whatever and you remember the time your mom did what she did. Maybe there’s more than one occasion you’d like to forget, all I’m saying is, limit the memories your kids want to forget.
I rarely know the direction of these articles. What I do is, I write down the topic as they present themselves, I have a notepad full of topics. For example, “4 star Uber rating” was a topic I’d written down in my notepad several months back. I just elaborate on the note from there, travel back in my memory and then share it with you by transferring the event from a memory on a notepad to the illuminated screen you’re currently looking at. It isn’t the event or the traumatizing memory that gets suppressed, the worst ones don’t go away, it’s the note you meant to write down that gets forgotten if you don’t write it down immediately—that’s my excuse anyway. The memory is there, it’s the #writing it down part I forget to do.
You’re out of your mind if you think a four year old child won’t remember witnessing the woman with long brown hair and freckles on her cheeks, hidden by the make-up running down her face, running around the dining room table, using chairs to shield herself from you, in fear for her life. That was the first time he saw a woman’s thing down there, the memory is vivid to this day, she was butt naked, running around the house frantically. You had two kids, the three were all around the same age, they knew where to hide, he didn’t. He was supposed to be having a sleep over that night instead of witnessing terror. He stood alone in the kitchen and watched you chase her around the dining room table as she screamed and cried hysterically. You flipped the table across the room and she instinctually curled up in a fetal position on the linoleum floor to protect herself, begging and pleading for mercy. You yanked her up from her long brown hair with one hand. That’s when you finally saw the young boy who was having a sleep over that night, standing alone in the kitchen, his eyes glued to the events as they unfolded. You whisked her up by the hair and, in an instant, you were both out of sight. Moments later she returned, this time wearing a soft, silky white robe that was tied at the waist, and she consoled the young boy who never saw you, her, nor those kids ever again—they don’t forget that iSH!
They don’t forget things, that’s all I meant to say.
I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t sign off right now—that might be a weird one to leave you with. I’ll go back through my notepad and remember another memory to leave you with instead. Then you’ll have two to choose from and can decide for yourself which, if any, to forget, only this time I’ll look for one that’s a little more uplifting and a lot less “wtf?” Be right back. Had I not said “be right back,” you never would’ve known I left. I’d like to change where I told you “be right back“ and make it say “see you in the next paragraph.”
Charismatic, charming, totally hip and whitty author deserving of a reoccurring autovote image courtesy - Pixabay.
State your name, please, spell it clearly. Tell us briefly about yourself and list all of your social media accounts. Use the back of this page if you need more space, take your time.
Have you ever paid a robot to cast a vote on your own behalf?
No.
Do you, as we conduct this interview, have completed articles in your phone ready to release and the only reason you haven’t done so is because they’re just ‘not quite’ edited correctly and there’s no telling when, if ever, they’ll be ready?
Yes.
Yes. Well, kind of. 
Are you currently delegating or, have you in the past, delegated a portion of your SP?
I’ve been delegating SP since before I had my vote slider.
Do you release the exact same predictable content over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...
...And over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again?
No.
Prove it.
How?
Say something funny.
The white horse fell in the mud.
I hate dirty jokes. What I meant was, if you don’t do the exact same thing over and over and over and (not this again) show me something recently you did that was #funny.
I did ”Knock, Knock” last week, it’s a whole bunch of jokes, ironically enough, not one of them is a knock knock joke but I’m sure you’ll find something in there to laugh about. If not, you might want to stick to murder mystery novels or something.
What about music? Are you an aspiring musician or recording artist, do you have your own label and will you share your Steemit account on your YouTube channel?
My what channel? Music, yeah, I love listening to it. I DJ’d for some years back in my twenties—that graduated to the keys and eventually a computer monitor but I wouldn’t call myself a musician or a producer. I’ve written several reviews about music, though, each of them were pretty successful articles. I guess you could call me an avid listener of music who likes to write a review about it every once in awhile when the artist does something that really inspires me:
¡Money Shot! A Tribute To Eddie Money - You Won’t Find This Story Anywhere Else.
Concert Night in California - House Of Blues @ Downtown Disney
“Hip Hop is a Subculture and Art Movement”
What about featured curations? Have you had one or more of your articles featured in a weekly curation hosted by one of our highly reputable, blockchain curators?
Yes.
Please specify the name and release date of your most recently featured article and by whom it was featured.
“Only in Liverpool 🏴 🇬🇧.” exactly 14 days ago - 09.18.2019. Ocdb, Curangel, Artzone, Qurator, Steemitworldmap, and I think that’s it.
Two more questions and then we’ll submit your application for review, ok? Are you ready to proceed?
No (that was a joke).
It’s not funny when you have to declare it was a joke.
Touché.
What, if anything, are you doing to promote Steemit to the people who have never heard about it?
I recently began explaining Steemit to the buskers around me if I happen to be near them when they stop performing for a moment. I’ve opened up my phone and about four or five of them have taken a picture of my home screen. I make sure to tell them “look me up when you get there.” I haven’t heard anything yet but I’ll keep offering my home screen to whoever wants to take a picture.
Last one,
Think we can get about 15 #tags? Five is pretty weak. I’m doing all of my posting on Esteemapp which allows seven tags, that’s better than five. I’m getting three more by doing an edit over at Steempeak, see what I’m saying? You’ve allowed five tags since day 1 and, it just seems with all of the complex changes we’ve experienced lately, altering the maximum number of tags should be smoother than a butter knife at the next fork. HF-22 is a lot better than I thought it was going to be and a big huge thanks, I like what you’ve done with the place.
