The day hastily approaches.
My blue belt test is set for this Saturday, along with a whopping 13 of my teammates. Most of us have been training for around two years and for the past couple months we've been gathering for test prep twice weekly. The white-to-blue belt track at our school emphasizes self-defense, with plenty of classes in between to hone our competition skills. As I've mentioned before, few schools do it this way anymore. Even mine went through a cycle and only started testing for belts again 6 years ago. Most instructors today will either award a belt in their school whenever they see fit, or do a podium promotion when their student wins a gold. I honestly wouldn't mind being surprised with a belt like that but it was a surprise enough when my coach told me to start preparing for the test.
Now, there isn't really any concern that I or any of us will fail the test. That's not really the point. The white-to-blue curriculum is designed around "street readiness". No body is pulling guard on you in the street. You better know how to handle being punched and grabbed. Our instructor wants to know that we know the basic fundamentals of the Gracie self-defense system. He told us in a prep session the other day that he wouldn't have invited us to the test if we weren't already rolling at a blue belt level.
As reassuring as this is to hear from him, it brings me to what I'm facing right now on my jiu-jitsu journey. There are many valleys, peaks, and plateaus that people face when learning the gentle art. One of the toughest times, I'm told, is the blue belt. It's typically the longest belt, and outside of white, it's the one where most people quit. I can't imagine myself quitting, but I can already feel the advent of what's know as "the blue belt blues". It's a mental block that makes you think you're not getting any better.
This is something I've experienced a lot lately. It feels like 9 out of 10 rolls are just awful and I can't accomplish anything. That usual high that accompanies a good mat session feels diminished and I start to question if I'm really ready for the next belt. Do I really even want it? You become a representation of your school and it's teachings as your progress through the belts. Can I handle that kind of responsibility? It's a great honor, but also a great duty.
It only takes a few moments of reflection to correct this kind of thinking though, no matter how often it creeps up on you. More often than not, when I take a look back at those 9 out of 10 bad rolls, I realize that they were mostly if not all against upper belts. I also realized that as I got closer to blue, the upper belts stopped going easy on me. My two favorite mat mates are a purple and a brown belt that both recently won professional BJJ matches. (Snapping necks and cashing checks, baby!) So it shouldn't really come as a surprise when I'm getting tapped 6 times in 5 minutes. But next time I might get that down to 5 or even 4 taps!
The progress is always there, but the learning curve is real. You might learn a ton the first 100 times you get submitted. Then you might learn less the next 100 times, and a little less, and little less. But you will never walk away with less knowledge.
Thanks for reading. Now to find an appropriate frame for this.
Oss!