I've started a new blog on Substack as it seems that's where all the serious writers are at. It also allows me to segment my topics in a way I had hoped the "Communities" tab would. Anyway, if you'd like to follow me, please make your way over to Substack and give me a sub. I've pasted an excerpt of a poem I originally entered into a contest, with a link at the end to my Substack.
Enjoy!
My ADHD, According to GPT
One whole month to write about Me, and my ADHD
Where to start?
I suppose with a style?
What are the guidelines?
A poem, a Wergle, it has to be funny, witty and sharp.
Wait.
Can you use commas in poems?
According to GPT
You can use commas.
Wait.
Do Poems have to be grammatically correct?
That damn Grammarly keeps correcting me.
According to GPT
In poetry, strict adherence to the rules of grammar is not always necessary.
Wait.
Grammarly has just corrected GPT, it’s a soft correction, but still…
Okay, after forty-five minutes of reading reviews, I’m still not any clearer
As to whether I should get Grammarly Premium or not.
I have a strong suspicion it’s not worth it.
For my sanity, for now, I’ll ignore it and push on.
Where was I?
Oh yes, the ode to my ADHD.
Wait.
Is it an ode, though?
Isn’t an ode more of a song?
A love song, even?
Do I love my ADHD?
According to GPT
Odes are known for their lofty emotion, elaborate praise,
and deep exploration of their subject matter.
Over the past hour or so, I have learned
about Pindaric (Pythian) Odes,
Horatian Odes,
and Irregular Odes.
So, to start a subject close to my heart.
My attention deficit, my wandering focus.
Wait.
Am I supposed to rhyme this?
Does modern poetry rhyme?
According to GPT
Not necessarily is the answer. Vague, but it’ll do.
Wait.
What if I start rhyming? Am I committed to the rhyming scheme?
Why can’t I spell “committed” correctly the first time?
In fact, why are there constant words I can’t spell correctly the first time?
Like ocassion - occassion - occasion.
Or embarassment - embarasment - embarrasment -~~ embaresment~~
Ach, just look at spell check. There we go, embarrassment.
Two ‘Rs’ and two esses.
Why can’t I remember that?
Wait.
Is that a thing?
Like a disorder or something?
According to GPT
A cacographer is someone who has poor handwriting
or consistently makes spelling mistakes.
Derived from the Greek words "kakos" meaning bad,
and "graphein" meaning to write.
So obviously that’s me.
Ohmigod! That’s where the term cack-handed must come from!
Huh, interesting.
— — —
Okay, next morning, now.
That was an interesting etymological rabbit-hole I found myself in yesterday.
Etymology, or entomology?
According to GPT
- Etymology is the study of the origin and history of words. Think “etymon” (true sense) + “-logy” (study of).
- Entomology is the study of insects. Think “entomon” (insect) + “-logy.”
I will not remember that.
Where was I?
Oh yes, my ADHD
Check the competition guidelines again.
It has to be in English or English gibberish.
Wait.
Can gibberish be spoken in different languages?
What does Spanish gibberish sound like?
Huh.
According to GPT,
it can indeed, because even though gibberish is nonsensical
It follows phonetic rules. So Spanish gibberish would sound like Spanish to a non-native speaker.
Interesting, never thought about that.
Wait.
Why was I searching up gibberish?
It’s dark outside now.
But at least I know I’m not beholden to a rhyming scheme.
I don’t have to use perfect grammar,
and I’m most likely okay to use the term ‘ode’.
———
Day two, Me and my ADHD where to begin?
It fuels my creativity and sparks my ignition.
Wait.
Can an ignition be sparked? Or does the ignition do the sparking?
Wait.
Should I just have one question mark for the above question?
It’s kind of the same question.
I use the word ‘or’, can a question be started with ‘or’?
Okay, thanks GPT,
one question mark, I knew that anyway, it looked weird.
Wait.
I forgot to ask about the ignition thing.
According to GPT
the ignition system is responsible for generating a spark (in gasoline engines)
or for heating (in diesel engines) to start the combustion process.
Wait.
Isn’t diesel named after someone?
According to GPT...
Carry on reading My ADHD, According to GPT on Substack (link opens in a new tab)
DO YOU SUFFER FROM ADHD, HOW DO YOU COPE?
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Cryptogee