2022 was a tough one:P Just like all the other years...
The past few weeks hit so hard. I've been suicidal for most of my adult life, but I have never been this close to actually contemplating ending my life as I was a week ago. I reached a level of emotional pain that I couldn't handle. I still picture myself laying in my bed, in the fetal position, wrists covered in blood. 3 months away from graduating, so close to the finish line, I had to take the decision to terminate my internship. It hurts my soul everyday. It still feels surreal.
The good news is that I will be pursuing therapy in January with a new therapist that specializes in my core issues. It's the most beautiful gift I could ever give to myself. That's honestly one of the few things that gives me the strenght to keep on going. All thanks to my current therapist because she changed everything for me. She is hands down the best therapist I've ever had. My standards for therapy were very high, and she surpassed them easily.